21 february 2025, @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt Day 2654: safety first
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
“Look, don't get it twisted – forget about the fact that the last person who tried to take Captain Ironwood Hamilton out got his whole head made into wall art courtesy of a bullet from Capt. H.F. Lee – don't even think about the fact that you're going to need a rocket ship to the next galaxy if you mess with him because Lee will lose his mind and track you until one of you dies. Think about the fact that Hamilton was Lee's adjutant and is his cousin, and is just as nuts as he is, in a nicer way.”
Two Big Loft Police Department bigwigs were taking stock of all that had happened in the past year, and about ways to get under the skin of Henry Fitzhugh Lee – but one had sense enough to warn the other not to bother with the major serving as police captain in much smaller Tinyville.
“He and his one deputy took out like 40 men and we still don't know how he pulled that off in 2019,” the one with sense was saying to the one without. “The survivors were on the ground face down and so we will never know because the inquest did not go there because of all the people that needed to protect themselves from being exposed with a bajillion police officers doing a crime in contemplation of another.
“But it's what he after Orton Thomas was already dead that gets to me – the chase down of the two remaining commissioners, and the fact that both of them are still having nightmares not about the fact that one got outrun and manhandled into a chainlink fence, and the other got run off the road by a F-150 that should not be anywhere near that fast on these country roads – not that Captain Hamilton has been clocked chasing down race cars on these roads doing at least 120 in an F-150 and driving like Dukes of Hazzard is a real thing – no. Not even that one of them had to go for the ride to get the second one, and both of them were sitting there knowing that the people in the front had blown away 41 men. No.
“This is what the nightmares are about – and I'm telling you, Hamilton is as nuts as Lee. You're going to manhandle one guy into a chainlink fence so hard you almost make hamburger out of him, and turn the other guy's car into a half-collapsed airplane and then yank him up outta there, hog tie both of them, and then put them in the back passenger seats, smile, buckle their seat belts, and then say, 'Safety first.'”
On the other end of the line nobody knew he was listening on, the new state conservator for the BLPD, Henry Halleck, double-checked that he was on mute, and then fell out laughing as outgoing Chief Winfred Scott smiled grimly.
“You told me 2019 was wild, Chief, and that these men have axes to grind,” he said, “but this is truly wild! No wonder most of the rest of Lofton County policing is pacified! Lee and Hamilton, together, have made it over!”
“That's what I needed you to understand,” the chief said. “Between Hamilton and incoming Sheriff Alexander, the county is good right now – but the last holdouts to stopping with the intrigues and corruption are still right here in the department, and if you think you are going to manage them without Lee, you're going to find out the hard way that it probably can't be done.”
“I do find it astonishing that they are discussing basically terrorist acts on a local citizen, but are too terrorized by him to do anything,” Mr. Halleck said. “I suppose the county does need two Green Berets on the job, because only Major Hamilton's concern for road safety is shielding him from reprisal.”
“It takes people like them,” Chief Scott said, “to handle people like these.”
“I'm convinced,” Mr. Halleck said. “I will retain Lee as a consultant. I imagine he knows where all the bodies are buried, or at least how to still move events to get these men to show us.”
“Of course,” Chief Scott said. “How do you think we are hearing all these conversations – unofficially, of course."
Mr. Halleck sat down and put his head in his hands.
“How long – never mind. You've made your point, Chief.”