Störtebeker Hanse-Porter non alcohol

Hi!
Since this is my first post in this community, I would like to briefly introduce myself. My name is Dandegrischdine, I live in northern Germany, and even though I am a woman (warning: cliché!), I really like beer.

Then I discovered #BeerSaturday with @detlev and this community here and thought it would be cool to join in a little. So here it goes:
In the midst of the rainy North German weather, a few rays of sunshine came through in the late afternoon, so my neighbor and I decided on the spur of the moment to try a new beer. It was the middle of the week and we had to be in the office the next morning, so it had to be non-alcoholic. So what's the obvious choice in North Germany? Exactly! A beer named after one of the most famous and legendary figures of the north: Störtebeker.
My neighbor had the non-alcoholic version, Hanse-Porter from Störtebeker, in stock.

Look and feel: Dark and with a very firm head, it looked like malt beer as soon as it was poured.
Taste: Malt beer. Okay, that would be putting it a little too simply. It tasted like typical malt beer, but without being as disgustingly sweet as normal malt beer. Thank goodness – because I don't like that at all. So – very malty, but not too sweet. I wouldn't really classify it as real beer, because it lacked the typical spice and tartness and felt rather heavy and dense.

With that in mind, I would be less inclined to drink it in the summer when it's hot, but rather in the winter to enjoy a delicious beverage. Kind of like hot chocolate for beer lovers. Does that make sense?
Oh — I have to confess something else. I love ice in my drinks! So I drink everything with ice cubes — wine, beer, water — I don't care whether “you're supposed to” or not... sorry, but everyone is allowed to have their quirks.