Friendship Worth Keeping

Growing up, mama always said; “Be the reason someone smiles every day”
Initially, I didn’t quite understand it and I felt like why would somebody smile because of me? Am I a clown?
But as time flew by and I came of age, I got to understand the meaning behind her words.
I try as much as possible so that whoever comes across my path has a reason to smile and be joyful. Sometimes it feels draining when you try to encourage people and it seems like they don’t get it or are already deep into their frustration.
This story is about my friendship of Seven years with my best friend Ceejay.
I met CeeJay during my first year at the university and honestly, we looked so alike. People always tend to mistake us for twins or sisters.
Her name is Covenant Jordan and so I coined Ceejay using her initials.

Image from my phone

We went everywhere together and we were so inseparable. And while I spent time with her I got to understand who she was. She seemed tough on the outside but deep inside, she was a scared little cat.
She happens to be the last child of her parents among three children and like most homes, the last child is always pampered and not allowed to touch anything. She was always at odds with her elder sister since her sister was not in support of the pampering Ceejay received. She is so close to her elder brother who makes sure she doesn’t cry over anything. He does virtually everything for her and so she lived a life of total dependence.
According to the usual Nigerian University setting, you must make sure you get done with your necessary clearance before your second year. All papers must be duly signed and submitted to the necessary authorities. This process is the most annoying and tedious process I’ve ever experienced in my life.
You can imagine people being in class and you’re still running around to get your papers sorted.

Maybe it was because I came from a family where you can’t be dependent on anyone. Everyone must carry his cross.
Well, that wasn’t Ceejay. She left all that stress to her brother and felt like she didn’t need to do anything.
Her brother was also a student of our school and he was in his finals.
One morning I asked Ceejay while we were waiting for the next lecturer “How far have you gone with your clearance?”
“My brother is sorting it out” she replied me.
I shook my head and I was so tempted to ignore her but I remembered my mother’s words “Whoever sees something good to do and does not do it, it is a sin”
I turned to Ceejay immediately and asked her harshly “How long will I tell you that your brother is in his finals and he is also writing his project.” “ You think he will have the time to sort out your issues and also sort out yours?! You better pull up your socks and do what you’re supposed to do”
I reminded her that this is not her house where anyone pampers you, you’ll dance to the music if, by year two, you are not done with your clearance.
She looked at me with shock in her eyes and ran outside.
I followed after her and saw her crying. She started lamenting and screaming about going home.
I was dumbstruck and I somehow felt guilty. Maybe I should not have spoken harshly to her. But I knew that was the push she needed.
"Come on, CeeJay, you can't give up now!" I exclaimed, trying to sound as encouraging as possible.

She sobbed, her eyes were so full of tears. "I don't know, Dima. I just feel so overwhelmed. I've never done anything on my own before."
I hugged her and told her we’d do it together.
That evening after classes, we moved to her brother’s lodge and took her papers from him. And we started the process from where her brother stopped.
Before the middle of the second semester, we were done with her clearance. She hugged me and shed tears of joy.

"Thanks, Dima," She said, as we walked to the school gate going home. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

Screenshot from my Phone
I smiled, feeling so happy "You're welcome, CeeJay. That's what friends are for."
I encouraged her to make sure she didn’t slack in any of her studies.

Ceejay’s transformation was remarkable. She went from being a timid and dependent individual to a confident and self-assured person. And I was proud to have played a part in her growth.

Image from my phone
This experience indeed taught me the importance of emotional intelligence and understanding in building strong relationships and helping others to grow.
I got to understand that listening to people and not judging them is one way we can make this world a better place.