Why we need to cry. A book review

Aletha J. Solter’s book The Aware Baby was a revelation for me! I found out vital information about the process of giving birth, why the role of fathers is so pivotal and why we act like our parents in the relationship that we have with our own child. I feel like this book puts a new light on the baby as being an individual worthy of respect and who deserves to have their own will, desire and view of the world taken into consideration.

We rarely think of how babies feel and we rather focus on how we need to make them adapt to our lifestyle. We see them as intruders, as beings that are here to manipulate and get the best out of us. We have constructed this nasty view of the infant without having the basic knowledge of the mental development of a baby. Aletha introduces us to the “aware parenting approach that has 3 basic aspects: attachment style parenting, non-punitive discipline, acceptance of emotional release”.

I did a long review of this book and I am sorry for the image being too small as I forgot to turn my phone into the right position for recording, it can happen to all of us.

I believe that Aletha Solter made a great job by exposing the ugly truth about how unfriendly our society truly is with the role of parenting. The quote I am about to share is , I believe, the essence of her book:

There is another aspect to this whole problem. Many parents resent having to pay attention to their children because our culture belittles and degrades the important work of parenting. People have traditionally considered this to be “mere” women’s work that requires no special skills. It is little wonder that so many mothers and anxious to get out of the home to where they feel the real “action” is. If you are a woman feeling bored playing with your baby, much of your feeling may actually have its roots in these cultural attitudes. You may begin to pity yourself for being stuck with such “demeaning” work. If cultural attitudes were to change overnight, and child rearing were considered to be an important, challenging and interesting job, and if parents were given both financial and emotional support to be responsible for their baby’s care and education, there might be fewer bored parents. If it were a well-paid job, it would probably be in great demand, because what could be more exciting than the opportunity to observe a new human being discover and learn? The unfolding of a child’s intelligence is, in fact, where some of the real “action” is.