The Deepest Fall

Sunday, November 26th 2023

Pearrygin Lake State Park. We were supposed to camp here last night. It was part of the plan. Learning that the website hadn't been updated with information about the park being closed for the season starting this weekend was not part of the plan. The plan was therefore modified to include rolling around in the dark until finding a pre-snow sno-park lot off a forest road somewhere that the backup campground turned out not to be, then parking the car and pounding a beer and gorging on cold rotisserie chicken in the drivers seat with the heater blasting while listening to an audiobook about a wildlife reserve in South Africa to stave of the where-the-fuck-are-we jitters.

Twenty degrees outside. The modified plan continued to include Pilot and I leaving puddles of quick piss on the frozen gravel of the lot, then back hurry fuck omg into the car and into the bed with two sleeping bags and two disposable hand warmers, the light of a plump moon filtering through the frozen crystals of breath forming inside the window of the hatch.

Modified plan worked out all right.

It's fall on the calendar but that doesn't matter up here. The landscape is dark and dead. Colored leaves long since fallen from the trees now rot brown on the ground. The sky is grey and flat. Air bitter cold. Frost grows on the grass and on the goose shit.

And me, I am absolutely elated to be in an environment that so perfectly suits my mood.

I don't mind the hard days so much anymore. I can go through them like any other, now, knowing that the longing will inspire and give birth to many new creations.

And even if it doesn't...
It's just an internal winter. Contentment in hibernation.
Darkness. Silence.
Retreat.

Reset.

Subtlety.
Beauty.
Simplicity.
Routine.

Life.

Pearrygin Lake State Park and Wildlife Refuge. Winthrop, Washington, USA.
Nikon D7500, Lightroom, gloves, thermals, beanie, dog, landship.

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