Recognizing Warning Signs in Relationships

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So I said what's the problem baby, I know it's something that I can't ignore is it love that makes me wanna turnaround makes me wanna can't stop thinking about love. Come-on come-on, turn a little faster, come-on come-on the world will follow after come-on come-on everybody's after loveeeeeee!!!. This is a top notch lyrics sung in arguably one of the greatest animated cartoons from the early 2000s SHREK and because of the prompt I had to look it up to discover it's actually a song called accidentally in love( don't know if I got the lyrics right,). The song focuses on love and how everybody wants to experience that feeling of being needed.
Love is a powerful feeling that exceeds just attraction or even affection and sometimes difficult to explain. It envelopes people, binding them together through understanding, trust, and care clustered to become an essential part of Humans that we all crave to have. But despite the happily ever after fairytale story love is always presented to be, there are usually issues ranging from large to trivial that if ignored can lead to disaster. These issues could come in form of signs which are otherwise known as RED FLAGS. Red flags come in different forms and affects people differently, some folks believe that if it is not consistent and appears in tiny forms then they can deal with it probably by changing their partner or just adjusting to suit the relationship entirely. Others just get used it despite how terrible those signs manifest and evidently end up in toxic and abusive relationships- a sticky situationship they find difficult to escape even with help from external parties.

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Over the course of my long interaction with the opposite gender, filled with failed relationships and a few good ones not excluding lessons learned from my that of friends and acquaintances, I have garnered experiences about a few red flags people should look out for. At the top of my list is

1. Lack of proper communication: Communication happens to be one of the most crucial ingredients for a healthy relationship. It is a combination of self expression and properly conveying your message to your partner to avoid misinterpretations. It usually manifests from partners who do not want to open up to their partners to avoid looking weak. They shut down their partners completely whenever the discussion gets emotional making them feel unimportant and unable to connect on a deeper level.

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This situation predominantly occurs with men ( women also exhibit this feature) as the gender often believes that indulging in this type of discussion discredits their masculinity. I was also a victim of lack of communication which eventually led to miscommunication and finally a terrible heart from both ends. It is virtually impossible for a relationship to grow when both parties barely know anything about each other and the only way that can happen is through proper communication. Share your flaws and weaknesses, strengths and vulnerability, only then can both partners really connect on a deeper level and push the relationship to the next phase.

1. Disrespect: Respect they say is reciprocal meaning that it should go both ways between parties involved in the relationship. If a partner does not respect you, is verbally abusive either in private or public places, is dismissal about your opinions or disregard your feelings then I am sorry to say this but you need to walk away because nobody treats something or someone they care about in such manner. This is a red flag that should be noticed in the first few months or even weeks of the relationship. So unless you want to keep dealing with stuff like this for the rest of your life, you know the right decision to make.
2. Abuse: The name says it all, sometimes I wonder how some people even survive in an abusive relationship- emotional or physical. The thing that shocks me the most is that some of them notice the signs as clear as day but still dive in head first into it like they are under some kind of spell or something with the dumb intention of changing the person. This sign doesn't always pop immediately the relationship starts or at the take off stage probably because he/she is is a pro at masking their true nature but it is bound to happen one way or another. So if e happen in a mild nature abeg just pack your bags dey go, e no easy to change person character. Leave before your story becomes an example to ward off other people so they don't fall victim to your kind of predicament.

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1. Have you ever been with a partner that seems to want to know where you are, what you do, who you do it with going as far as shutting you out from people because they are deemed unnecessary in your life. At first it seems cute until you realize that your partner is a control freak, over jealous and possessive acting like you are a property and not just another part of an integral being. This is another red flag you should flee from. Just this Sunday I was with a friend and he told me he wanted to go check on his girlfriend because he feels like she went to a birthday party he told her not to. I told him not to go as it was almost 10 pm that night and was not really worth it, if he can't trust the girl then he should not be in a relationship with her in the first place, bro told me to call since she does not know me and when I did she told me she was at home. At past 10 he still went to her place which was quite far if I might add only to discover out she was at home, received a massive tongue lashing and lost the relationship that very evening because of trust and his over controlling behavior.

There are still a few more red flags like dishonesty, lack of self love ( yes this is a red flag as well, how do you expect someone who can't even love themselves to love you) gaslighting, lack of trust and so much more that need
to be identified so you can hit the ground running while your humanity and dignity are still intact. Red flags are not just minor inconveniences but signs to life changing threats that if ignored can even lead to permanent damage. So if you notice them rather than trying to transform a wolve into a sheep please quietly walk away.