Hi fellow Hiveians,

Today I wanted to think back on things I should be excited about, but seem to be holding back!

The In-Between

Sometimes in life, we are in a weird place!

There are things that happen in life, where we are between one situation and another. We don't know fully how to feel and process it, but we are in this strange limbo. I'm at that right now!

We've got a school change on the horizon for my son, and it's a really good one. We were able to get into a school that is by far geared towards his abilities, tastes and things like that but it's also a really difficult thing to have gotten into. I don't quite know how it happened.. but it did. We've made all the acceptance and all that, but for some reason I still don't feel "good" about it. I feel like there is another shoe to drop, because that's how shit happens for me!

I think this type of mentality is good because it helps us ward off some of the bullshit that happens in life, but at the same time I think it's a challenging thing to have to deal with. We should be able to feel good about something, feel excited but I seem to have some core memories somewhere tucked deep in the back of my mind that is preventing me from getting stoked about something that's good.

I wonder about this here and there - I've had plenty of things I should be really excited about, but I end up having a lukewarm expression towards it because of that lingering and nagging feeling that something is going to fuck it up, and it's better not to get too excited so that you are let down less. It's probably not a good thing, but it is what it is at this age, right? Lol.

I wonder if this is also a product of the strange society we are living in. Has it always been this strange, and we were too young to notice it? Have our parents had these things happen and we were unaware because they did a good job as parents and didn't make it really obvious? Sometimes I think of that, because although there are a lot of challenges in the world, there have always been and there always will be lots of challenges that we have to deal with. It's part of the human experience in a lot of ways.

I am hoping that on the first day of school, is when it really will click for me, and I will be able to share in the same joy that it's supposed to be. It's going to be a long year because naturally the good places aren't super close to where we live, but you deal with what you have to deal with in order to make a situation better. I think that's the nature of being a parent, being able to adapt to situations and make it into the best we can. If not, then we are just contributing to the shitty issues in society!

What about you, have you had something like this happen where you should be excited, but you are holding back? Let me know in the comments!

^-CmplXty. _{Real human written content, never AI. All pictures are mine unless otherwise stated}

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