Mommy's Mental Health - Chapter 35- The Dark Year Part 2: Jack and Jill

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Jack and Jill were made of thrills
Their bond of blood no one could kill
But Jill and Jack lived in a shack
That mom and dad built out of crack
Jack and Jill fell down that hill
Woke on the wrong side of the tracks
And there was no turning back

I was just fifteen but still I see
Dreams of that dark year they scream at me
No matter how far I run
Those ghosts they seem to follow me
No matter how I try to hide
They come to tell me how I cried
And how the world abandoned me to die

Jack and Jill they did appear
And I got caught up in their storm
And Jill and Jack caught me in their trap
I'll never know why Jill loathed me so
Or why Jack had me crying on my back
till the tears no longer flowed
The seed of hatred, sowed

I was just fifteen when I lost my dreams
When my hollow cries were met with lies
Jill beat me down for lying still
And breaking to her brother's will
Through her own demise her soul went blind
She couldn't see what they would kill
And their ghosts they haunt me still

So dear Jack and Jill I grabbed a knife
And ran a bath to end my life
But Jack and Jill they did not know
That my story wasn't done
Just in time my Mom came home
And I knew that I was not alone
She held me through the dark until the dawn

I was just fifteen it was the end it seemed
until I saw my mother's eyes
I can't forget that awful sound
As she cried to see how far I'd drowned
Where did that little girl go, she was just there before
A shell of empty dreams, just skin and bones
Oh God what had I become

And Jack and Jill they lost their grip
When I faced the mirror and bit my lip
Through my tears it was so clear
What Jack and Jill made had to leave
'Cause Lord knows that wasn't me
And I made a deal to set me free
No matter what the price may be

I was just fifteen when I woke up
And I stole back all of me I'd lost
I packed up all my dreams, hid them far away
Until someday I'd find a way
But it took so long till I was strong
Twenty years went by, they were surely gone
Till I slowly started picking at the seems

And Jack and Jill they came to me
Like Casper's Ghost but not kind, just mean
But Jack and Jill they did not know
From the pain I'd made a jaded hero
And she'd saved me time and time again
She found me when she was my only friend
She told me my war could finally end

I was just fifteen when I ran away
As I tried to keep the ghosts at bay
20 years went by and I tried to hide
From all the monsters and the memories
I packed my bags and said goodbye
And time flew by and so did life
And the time came when I could no longer hide

Maybe Jack and Jill finally climbed that hill
And the anger in them finally stilled
After all these years I realised
That Jack and Jill were broke inside
And hurting me was the only way to win
Even if the deeds they did to me were sin
I had to let the healing begin

I was just fifteen when I left me behind
I'm so sorry, Claire, for the hurt inside
I'm so sorry they broke you
And that I truly disappeared
I remember that day when you were strong
Looked in your own eyes and left them behind
You didn't know when that fire would save your life again and again and again

And Jack and Jill God knows I tried
To bury you inside my mind
But on dark nights you still visit me
Inside my dreams I cannot scream
And I wake to find the monsters gone
And inside I find the dreams I'd lost
Claire, you'd saved them all for me