VICE.

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My weight has always been a major issue for me, normal people can eat junk and get away with adding only a few pounds or not even adding any at all. Well, I can't, the mere thought of it would have me fighting hard to lose some pounds.

You would think that would dissuade me from going near it, meh! I won't care the minute I'm eating it. I would satisfy my cravings and worry about the consequences later.

I feel like the background of this story was when I used to help my mom stay in her provision store after school. It started casually out of boredom, I'd chew gum, lick sweets, munch on groundnuts and just sample every edible thing because I was bored. I was almost always alone as my siblings had gone off to the university, and my mom would usually be busy with her husband, my father.

My Dad only comes home during weekends or when he's on leave so, my mom always hoards him to herself. He was her husband and rightfully so, they only had time for each other whenever they were together and that's on period.

Growing up, I always used to wonder what they discussed all the time or why they were always together whenever he was around. It was only when my father was home that she put on her nightwear to bed. Every other day, it's a tee shirt and wrapper. "Why is that?" I used to wonder. It was only when I grew up that I understood why they always cautioned us to knock before entering their room. I imagine you can figure out why, lol. The image I conjured when I grew up was funny, I don't even want to go there and feel ashamed to even think about it, ew!

Sorry, I digress. Anyway, that was the root of my addiction to junk. I gradually became used to it and I loved it. It turned out to be a bad habit for me, so bad that even when I buy snacks for my kids, I end up eating the majority of it and buying more later in bits.

Every year, I resolve to do away with junk, but I'm helpless. My weight fluctuates all the time and sincerely, I could do without it but I can't help myself. The temptation is too strong, I just might have to take it to God. That's a joke by the way.

I tell myself all the time that I just have a sweet tooth, but even I don't believe that. I don't have boundaries when it comes to junk, chocolate, biscuits, sweets chewing gum, and anything that features sugar. As long as it's within reach and I like it, I'm buying it even with my last penny. Speaking of having no boundaries, an incident comes to mind. I scolded my son one day for something I can't remember, he went to school angry, came back home in the same state, and went straight to his room. His snacks and food were untouched, and I laughed to myself for a long time. Who taught this boy to reject food? He probably forgot that he's Nigerian, we don't play that here.

I smiled when I remembered that it was the last piece of chocolate in the house that was given to him for his snack, and now, he brought it back. I'm a very devoted Christian so I took it to mean that God saved it for me. Please, don't laugh, I'm being serious here even though a smile is plastered on my face right now. I don't need to tell you what I did with the chocolate, whatever you think is correct. If you think I ate it, you are right, and if you think I didn't, you are right too.

Eating sweet foods isn't just a bad habit for me, it has it's perks too.
It helps me to focus. I could be chewing gum and making plans in my head, I'm just wired that way. Even when I'm typing, I can't function well without munching on something. It's become a part of me, and no matter how broke I am, my junks have an irreplaceable space on my budget.

I have tried to kick the habit for many years, but I'm still here. It's easier said than done. You might see it as indiscipline and you would be right, but what's a girl to do?

I'll try to kick it again next year, cause this year, (2024) is a bust already. Would you believe it if I told you I'm currently licking sweet as I type this? I'm doing the most, I know.

I can already picture how it would be if I could do away with junk, a banging body, and legs for days, I got the face on lockdown already, my face card is always valid. I won't have to shop for clothes every month, and I'll be able to wear anything I want to without worrying about my stomach bulging. I can see myself in a crop top already, say yellow cause that's my favorite color, paired with a crazy, hot skinny jeans preferably black and finally, one solid footwear. I don't want to mention any brand, cause I can't afford it yet. Any nice footwear will do, it's got to be black though. Oh! Would you believe I almost forgot? A lady's dressing is never complete without her handbag, in this case, a cross bag, I would go for yellow, but I don't want to appear like an MTN ambassador. I think black and gold will suffice. Tell me you see it already......... I may or may not use jewelry.

Moving on but I think a transparent shades inspired by the ones welders use to protect their eyes when working will be a good fit, don't you think? I haven't decided yet though. Next, I'll step out of the house and enter into my Tundra (a truck), painted black. I haven't bought it, I should have it covered by then, it's always been my dream car. I know how much it costs, but it's okay to dream, dreams do come true as long as you are not lazy. Tell me I'm on point, I'll be waiting.

Happy New Year, people. I'm glad we made it. Cheers to a beautiful year.