ON COMPARING TIME-LINES

"We are all gifted amd unique in our own different ways..." That line from Nigerian musician, 2face song with the title 'see me so' came to mind immediately I saw this topic.

I think of comparison in the same way I do contentment. You know, there's just a very fine line between staying content or not. On one hand, you think to yourself that life is too short to struggle and worry so much about for all the goodies and fame when all is vanity. On the other, you say, why be content when there's an abundance?. This one disparity puzzled me a lot back in the day when I used to do so much deep-thinking, until I found my answer.

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Comparison is one of those things that I never did, from when I was younger until date. For someone who did not come from luxury or had so much fancy stuff that she was up to, I find that attitude of mine, graceful.
It's just, from early on, my eyes had been opened to the struggles of every individual notwithstanding their affluence, size or social placement. It helped me better stay happy for what good I have while striving for better.

I've found that, one of the simplest ways to get depressed, hateful of yourself and entirely oppressed is to take a look at your life -take an inventory of your life and compare it with someone in your age
group, maybe your agemate that has it all(assumedly). I assure you, you'll feel one of those things or just be plain jealous.

All of those assumptions make one feel oppressed. And it's easy to think of how much your life is off-track. Wallowing in the thought of the things you never had/missed out on, that which you don't have now, the things that you wished to have and the supposed 'too-little' you have is the easiest path to hurting yourself by yourself.

You're not the other version of the person you're comparing yourself with.
You are You.
And the faster you realize that, the easier it becomes to stop comparing other people's progress with your life and bemoaning your failures to focus on you. Focus on your path. Put energy into making your timeline as good as possible, and ask for all the help you need.

Sometimes, too, as much as we don't want to or think we don't want to, there's always this inner voice that says otherwise. It isn't bad, just that there's always got to be a balance between the good things and the bad ones.
The voice that tells us to compare, in some cases it pushes us further, most times, it puts down, tells us that we aren't good enough, that we'd never make it.

If you are not careful, you may harm yourself one way or another. Take social media as an instance. You come online and see someone sharing their wins; you then start to compare yourself with them in your mind, asking how they manage to win when you aren't.
So instead of genuine happiness, you feel threatened, like you are one step behind, like a loser. You feel inadequate, like you are not doing enough. You become envious and start to do what you should not be doing
Sounds familiar? That is how you end up committing emotional suicide, simply because you compare your journey with someone on a different path from yours, who also comes from a different background and who the elements in his path are different.

Imagine a career person feeling bad because an entrepreneur is winning or your colleagues in other departments are getting sore because you just got a promotion. In some cases, you even ignorantly compare yourself with people who are not doing as good as you are, just because they happen to be more vocal about their wins. So, you come down two-step lower to play in the league you already left years ago.

We are all on different paths and playing by different rules. So, there is no basis for comparisons. You have to focus on your journey and define your own rules!
Comparisons will blind you, derail you, and disqualify you. And the worst part is that you will be doing all of this by yourself. That's the suicide right there!
Instead of serving yourself a daily dose of sorrow and bitterness by comparing yourself to others whose story you don't know about, determine to find your own opportunities and make the best out of them.

One of the easiest ways that I suppress this is to cut off whatever elements might make such thoughts creep in. Another way is to count the good in my life, however small they seem. None, not one of this is as simple as written, cause definitely, there arise times when those thoughts creep in. But, I have been so alert to notice the anomaly and to nib it in the bud by reminding myself that my life doesn't automatically get better when I compare and I remind myself to be genuinely happy for others.

So, when someone shares their win this week, don`t drop that usual fake congratulations message.
Smile, remember your own goals, remember what you need to do to achieve them, encourage yourself through a heartfelt congratulatory message on that post, and finally, go and do what you have to do.

Success is not a monolith, nor is it a race with a single finish line. It is a milestone, unique to each weaver. The societal mold of success is often too rigid, too narrow to contain the multitude of paths we walk
Comparing different life chapters is like comparing apples to oranges - both are fruit but vastly different in taste and texture. Your 20s are a time of exploration, while someone's 20s might be a period of intense hustling. Each phase has its own version of success.

Your success should be compared to your alignment of achievements, with your innermost values and aspirations.
It's important to draw inspiration from others but not let their stories write our chapters. Your success
story is yours to tell, with its own setting, plot, and pace.Remember, there's no universal blueprint for success
Know this, 'To each one, his own.'

This is my partner to the #augustinleo prompt for Day-13
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!

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