DISCONNECTED FROM MY SANITY

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On a good day such as today!?

Holidays like this should be worthwhile right!?

Haven’t been this overwhelmed for a long time, I have always had my things all figured out and I just go about them daily without stress. It is counting down from one to the least part of my to-do list and then congratulating myself for a task well done.

There is a constant switch of orientations and when it escalates, I am forced to back down and reprogram my goddamn brain to stay focused and determined so that I may attain heights of achievements.

Why does it seem like when I get to a certain phase and things are getting all rosy and patterns begin to align themselves that is ‘when things fall apart’ drifts in, yikes! As hilarious as the last phrase sounds I am deeply angry not to myself by the way but as to why and seriously trying to figure out how to fix that reoccurrence.

Being a better version of yourself takes a tremendous amount of work in self-development and I must say that a series of encounters will happen to one to give them enough time to assess, re-examine, and draw conclusions to the areas of their lives that need enhancement.

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This sentence is a testament to what I have been going through but no one will ever know that because I always get my acts together before someone realizes that I am in lock mode.
Sometimes penning it down helps me clear the fog in my brain and gives me space to create and try out new ideas such as thinking outside the box.

Oh well, like @samsmith1971 quoted in her last dreem word of the week; the cure is in the disease! I am stuck using that formula to decipher the cure to this infuriating problem I have that has been draining me on an interval basis. Until one figures the invisible patterns of that reoccurrence then this formula can be applied and this is where my analysis got stuck cause I am still contemplating the areas that I lag which resulted in this.

What could be that factor?

Is anyone in my shoes right now that could help me?
I feel so disconnected from myself that nothing pleases me except being ideal, reluctant, and procrastinating those tasks on my to-do list, perhaps a vision board that is how I view it. I know damn well that this is what I allowed into my thoughts until they find a footstool to build their stems on and leech-like those energy-draining parasites.

From one dimension of thoughts to another and looking for what to hold onto to blame for all my sluggishness and when I didn’t see what to lay my aggression, I got furious with myself this continued throughout today until I went through my bookshelves and remember this book I was reading titled “YOU CAN IF YOU THINK YOU CAN”.

_{Picture is Mine}

I think I found a way out from these creeping thoughts into the light and embrace of positivity, I smiled ear to ear knowing that I found hope and strength, I remembered how eager and excited I was when I first bought this book and those refreshing moments came back to me. I started flipping the pages of the book to where I folded the last page I read previously.

I skimmed till I found where I stopped marking it with my mental notes and then went back to the last three paragraphs to get the whole concept just to refresh my memory. I took a perfect position and then initiated reading as I read through the lines; I began feeling inspired, and passionate.

As I delved deeper into the book titled "You Can If You Think You Can," I found myself profoundly inspired. Each page seemed to breathe new life into my aspirations, filling me with an unshakable sense of enthusiasm. It was as though a wave of positive energy was swooping around me, invigorating my spirit and surging through my veins.

This newfound motivation sparked a deeper belief in my abilities and reaffirmed that with the right mindset, I can achieve anything I set my mind to. The book’s influential message resonated deeply, leaving me energized and ready to conquer any challenge I might face afterward.
After reading almost three chapters, that negative energy had already left me completely and I felt the positivity of the atmosphere which gave me space for positive thinking.

That was how I resumed activities and tasks I had at hand and was also able to initiate meaningful conversations with my clients, keeping in touch and the rest of it. That is the power of positivity.

_{written during the holidays “Eid Mubarak”}