Not even the gray skies

Not even the gray skies that soothe my anxieties can't do it for me today. I'm broken, sad and I'm not afraid to say it.

My heart from so much feeling was filled with so much love but also with fears that, senselessly, try to leave it empty.

And I am not less for feeling more, I am not worth less for feeling this way, I do not forget my goals for pausing today, I do not give up my dreams for waking up crying, I do not love myself less for loving someone else.

I feel sad maybe without having a reason, I lack answers to questions that I keep looking for without finding, I lack explanations to this that I feel without being able to silence.

Something is missing that has robbed me of peace, the peace I felt knowing that I loved myself and that escaped from my hands, that became silence without knowing what to think.

Today I am incomplete, I am not afraid to say it, I am not a coward if I know how to recognize it, I have not given up, I am only in pause accommodating my feelings, inventing new ways to continue without looking back, waiting to see you in front of me when I open my eyes.

But not today, today I'm going to cry to wash myself slowly, to feel again, today I need myself alone looking high from the ground to know which way to go, to heal the wings, to look for the sky where to fly again.