Forgiving by Forgetting

Forgiveness is a process, a deliberate decision taken by the offended never to have a comeback or bring vengeance on the offender. A lot of people find it hard to forgive those who have wronged them. I am the kind of person who lives with a very annoying Aunty.

I don't hold grudges. If I am asked this question,"Do you easily forgive?" I would answer,"Yes",this is because I easily forget whatever anyone does to me. So I would rather say I forgive by forgetting. I will give incidences when my aunty wronged me.

My primary school was not far from home,just a stone throw. But when I finished my primary education, there were no modernized high schools around my house. So,I had to apply to a high school a bit far from home. One fateful day,I slept very late because I had to prepare for my test the next day. I woke up late in the morning and I ended up finishing my chores late. "Why are you not dressed up for school by this time,wait, you haven't even taken your bath?" My aunty asked with a loud voice. "Ma I woke…", I tried to reply and she interrupted,"Shut your mouth, see what you'll do,just go straight to your room and put on your dress and leave for school." I had to obey her by dressing up without bathing and left the house without breakfast and transportation fare.

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I was lucky, my neighbor who saw me trekking to school helped me with some bucks which paid my transportation fare. I wasn't bothered by her unfriendly attitude but I was very happy I didn't miss my test. When I returned from school, she didn't ask me anything about school. She expected me to be angry or squeeze my face whenever she called me but I didn't. When she found out I didn't really feel bad about what she did in the morning,her conscience blamed her for taking such an action.

She called me to the sitting room and talked to me. She didn't want to apologize first but she started by accusing me of making her do what she never planned. "Why do I have to wake up late today,of all days? I told you I had an appointment today and I had to meet up very early. Were you expecting me to wait for you to bathe,eat and majestically dress up? I know you're angry". I shook my head, signifying that I wasn't. She then asked me "Ok, since you're not angry,I hope you have forgiven me?" Then I said" Ma, if not that you called me to tell me about this incident,I wouldn't have remembered again or even if I had remembered,I would have seen it as the past. The only thing I still remember is how I was flogged on my hands for being late and I could only remember that because of the recurring pains."

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Then she asked me,"Are you sure you don't have a brain malfunction?" And we both laughed. "No Ma", I replied. I knew she said this to make me laugh. Then I shared with her what my Dad told me before passing away, he said," Don't dwell on your pasts,they will affect your present actions and outcomes, focus on the present to have a great future. That's why if anyone wrongs me I would never border myself planning vengeance or occupying my heart with grief. I forget any bad thing someone does to me and I know at the same time,I have forgiven the person. That simply means that I forgive easily.