Forgiveness: A choice or Tool for Happy Living Contest #250

Amazing 👏 #ladiesofhives , welcome to my blog. I trust we all had a restful weekend. I present my entey to this week’s contest #250 and look forward to engaging your comments.

Source from Pixabay

Once upon a time, during my university days. I was living with a roommate off campus in a female hostel. Unknowingly to me, she was dating somebody that she intended to settle down with as her life partner. When the semester came to an end, we vacated the hostels, and I travelled home.

Life continued in its dynamic way until it was time to travel back to school. Normally, I will get in touch with her to inform her of my return date. But one thing led to another, and I forgot. So, on that very day, I boarded a bus and within five hours, I reached the campus and boarded a campus shuttle bus to the hostel.

Approaching the hostel, something strange happened. I saw a young man exiting my room with a towel tied around his waist. He also wore a bathroom slipper, indicating he had just showered. I was bewildered. A few steps to my room, my roommate came out laughing, holding some personal effects she wanted spread outside and boom, I entered the room.

It was a weird moment; everything came to a halt. The young man could not believe his eyes. He stood numbed, mouth open, likewise my roommate. That single moment changed everything we have shared as friends. Angry over the sight, I blasted the two of them, name-calling and shouting. Some of our neighbours heard the noise and tried to resolve the issue, but I refused because I was deeply hurt.

Boom! The burden of unforgiveness set in because I didn’t let go after the neighbours made peace. I stopped greeting her. We became cold to each other and stopped cooking, studying, shopping and doing things together. We rarely talk to each other. I started hanging out with other friends and staying late at night to ensure that when I come back, I shower and retire to bed. Again, I noticed I started having abnormal heartbeats once I got closer to the hostel from school.

At that juncture, I realised that I was missing the point. I need to let go of the grudges and bitterness, I need to do better and stop harming myself by carrying this emotional trauma called unforgiveness. I braised up and spoke to our campus fellowship coordinator about the development.

Source from Pixabay

He summoned the two of us and interrogated us. We opened up and poured our minds to him. It was an emotional moment for us. We vented, cried and chuckled. Long story cut short, we hugged each other and made peace. Next, the healing process began, and we became the best of friends ever. Each of us is happily married to our soul mates.

Reflecting on the question below

Is forgiveness beneficial for those who are able to let go past grudges

Yes, forgiveness is beneficial for those who can let go of past grudges. This is because, at the point when my friend and I stopped talking to each other, shopping, studying, and cooking together, I was spending more, suffering and smiling. I also missed our girly late-night gist.

Source from Pixabay

Do we always have to forgive ?

Forgiveness is a choice. We may or may not always have to forgive depending on the behaviour of the offender. However, it sets us free from the burden and load of setbacks. On the other hand, unforgiveness weakens an individual, making the person prone to health issues such as palpitation of the heart, fear, loneliness and low self-esteem, up to death. Additionally, a person battling with unforgiveness can turn suicidal.

Why forgive someone who doesnt deserve forgiveness?

if you always derive joy in offending me. I would keep you at arm's length to have my peace.
While I was bearing the burden of unforgiveness, my friend was coasting home and sleeping well. But when I got to the peak of the pain, I was completely broken and then sought help. When that help came, I started healing, and the reconciliation process was completed.
In conclusion, I think that forgiveness is a personal choice, depending on how the issue hits someone. In my case, I felt I had been wronged, so I did not give in to peace early enough. But with time, I found peace by reaching out for help.

Should we always forgive?

My sanity and mental fitness are precious to me. Therefore, I will not hesitate to keep a serial offender at bay if my peace is at stake.

Thank you for reading. I would love to read your feedback from the comment section.