The duties of a man
During our forefathers' time, the men provide and protect their families while the women take care of the home and children.
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Providing for the family deals with the food, clothes, and other things the wife and children may need while taking care of the home deals with the laundry and kitchen.
I never hear that they follow their wives to the kitchen to help in the preparation of food, by the time they come back home from work, they are already tired and expect their wives to serve them their food and afterward relax. Most of the women are full housewives and the only time they had to do something outside the home is probably when they want to harvest crops on the farm.
A lot has drastically changed with the new generations, a few years ago, a friend of mine [female] got a proposal from a guy who lives abroad, he wanted them to get married and he would sponsor my friend to the UK to reunite with him but on one condition, which is they are going to split the bills 50 50 in their marriage, she turned down the guy's proposal because she has not been out of the country and that is not a norm in our country, I also felt that was weird because that was my first time hearing such a thing as well but later on, I started to hear it is a norm for husby and wife to split the bills abroad because of too much expense and both also need to work to be able to run the family.
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I do not like such an idea though because it is going to affect them one way or the other, for example, the house chores and preparation of food, if you are splitting the bills 50-50 with your partner, you can't expect them to handle taking of the home alone, you also have to split the chores 50 50 to balance things.
A man has no business in the kitchen but to earn that, you must not lack in providing for your wife and do not think about splitting bills with her, everyone should stick to their duty.
Some people would say a woman should not end up in the kitchen, everyone has a choice, and a woman who doesn't want to end her life in the kitchen or taking care of her man and children, then probably find a man who can cope with that or remain single... I believe our women should be well protected, cared for, and showered with love, and their only duty is to take care of us and our home. As for the men, you have no business in the kitchen, go out and load those bags! so you can have enough to take care of her and the children.*
The only time I think it is necessary to enter the kitchen as a man is when your wife is pregnant or sick.
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Nice content you put out here and you started by saying in our father’s time. I agreed with you on your thoughts but times have changed and are still changing.
I do not see a big deal with men helping out in the kitchen, it doesn’t have to be just when the wife is sick or pregnant. Anyone can actually cook. Before these men got married, how were they eating? You don’t want to tell me they ate out all there lives and never cooked a meal for themselves for one day. How about men who are chefs? There’s no stereotypes to these things. One can assist as a sign of love just the same way a woman can support the husband to take care of the family. I think it’s all about the understanding between the husband and wife. They know themselves and what would work for them and should go with what they deem fit for their marriage.
My little submission. Greetings
Hello baby girl
my question is, if you were a man, you worked all day to provide for your wife and your kids... how would you feel getting home tired and still expected to cook for the family? note your wife is a full housewife
the purpose of marriage is for the two partners to support each other , so why should a man still be the one to cook when he is the one providing for the family and if a man start cooking, what will be the wife's duty?
Beautiful question and this points to just a situation between a house wife and the working husband. No responsible house wife would stay home all day and let her husband work all day and come back and cook. In this case there’s an understanding here and shared roles.
Have you considered a situation where both husbands and wife are working class people. Both come back late tired or even a situation where the husbands comes in earlier than the wife. Would he wait and do nothing until his wife’s comes back to fix food for both of them? Can’t he fix something for themselves or they can both look for an alternative because both are tired from the days work. What if there’s food in the freezer, can’t he warm the food and eat or would he wait until the wife comes back to fix food for them to eat because she’s a woman and she belongs to the kitchen no matter what.
I had a friend of mine who was working full time and her husband had a flexible job but stays home most times. He had this mentality that women belonged to the kitchen. He stays home all day and the wife comes back from work, goes to the market, and when she comes home. She starts cooking and the man never came to even assist all in the name of kitchen is for the woman. If you were in her shoes how would you feel? Well that singular act of insensitivity put a whole lot of strain on the marriage as so it would if it was vice-versa.
That’s why I said love and understanding can twerk these things and we don’t live by stereotypes.
I sensed the wisdom in your words... I also made mention of this that, this should not be expected if the woman is working and providing too...
If it is that case, I agree with you... If a man allows his wife to work, then he should be ready to help at home too...
As a man cooking is not a sign of love to the woman it is a responsibility
I believe in love yet I say love is sacrifice
So I call it sacrificial responsibility which both men and women need to understand
I love cooking so I don’t think it will be stress supporting my woman in the kitchen
It is a shared responsibility
for a man who is already burdened with going out to work and providing for the family, he won't have the time and energy to cook, and women get easily entitled... I have a friend who is a chef, his gf would tell him that they have to enter the kitchen together if he wants her to cook...
@tipu curate
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Thank you
Actually, our perception on this differs because there are still Men out there who will love to cook in the kitchen, but ideally and like an Africa Man I am, there's nothing concerning a man with the kitchen only if need be. However, men should not fail to provide for the family....
By choice, it is cool! but when a lady started feeling entitled to it, then it is wrong..
yea a man must provide, that is his main duty.
Exactly 💯
I which that the society will understand this..
I was coming to ask if the man also talked about split the management of the home too. The chores and all. If you’re splitting the one thing that we all know traditionally differentiates a wife from a husband, then you might as well also be ready to take turns in other aspects too.
I agree with this🤚.. if he want to split the bills, the chores must be splitted too
😂😂😂😂
I haven’t healed from laughing this reply out
Split it is 😂
Marriage works best with teamwork. That's why we are helpmates and not slaves to One another. Support each other and find what works for both of you.
and the work has been shared, men earns money, women takes care of the home, if the wife cant replace the husband in his place of work, she should not expect him in the kitchen unless he feels like doing it
Exactly. It's just the fact
I really like the idea of dividing all the responsibility into two parts. If on person refuse to take one responsibility in any case, I think it's not ok. it is applied in finance, cooking and other cases also.
yes, it only works if the two know their duty and do it well without adding a burden to the other.
The stereotype from those days helped everyone know what is expected of them, but this generation things continue to change.
You’re very right
I also can’t split 50/50 bills with a man but if he takes 70% responsibility, I can do the rest
I love to support but not splitting bills