Risk that men take in a Relationship
This is very common in my country, a guy will be performing the duty of a husband for a lady who tells him that she is not his until he puts a finger on her ring.
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I have a friend who loves and cherishes his baby but he was worried because the girl never cooked for him, her excuse was that she is not yet his wife so he can't force her to do the cooking and she even put him on a condition that if he wants her to cook then he must also be in the kitchen with her.
I found it so ridiculous when he was explaining to me, it was obvious he was not okay with it as well but he was confused about what to do and I could sense he did not want to break up with the girl, one thing I would never do is tell someone in love what to do, the best I can do for him is tell him stuff and he gets to decide on his own.
I told him, if she can't cook for you now, what is the assurance she would do it when you get married, how will you know if she can even cook, cooking is like a hobby to some ladies, they don't see it as a duty, they just love cooking and hear people praise them for their delicacies, so if your girl is not willing to cook or hate cooking now, she might get used to it when you get married and that would be a bigger problem. I believe my words ring a bell in his ear and the decision is up to him.
Ladies would come out boldly to tell the person they are dating that he doesn't have control over their life, he can't tell them what to do or not, they are right in a way, assuming the guy is not the one feeding and taking care of their responsibilities, yes he does not have that right on them, but the guy spends more than their father spent on them, in fact, most of the ladies, it is their boyfriend that cater for their needs and every other thing, so for someone who is already performing the role of a father and husband in your life, doesn't he deserve to get a wife role from you too? but they start calling names.
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In a relationship, some things should be termed normal and not controlling as some people see it.
Besties: Why on Earth would you have a guy bestie when you are in a relationship, cut the crap that he is just a friend, there is no close friendship void of emotions between two opposite gender, either one of them is crushing on the other or both have feelings for each other. So it is a disrespect to you man if you are keeping any guy friends closer to you than him.... Boundaries should be maintained.
Duty: Why are we dating if you can't help me? I have a girlfriend but she said she can't cook for me until we are married, whenever she needs money, she asks me first even though her father is still alive if you don't want to perform the duty of a wife then don't make him perform the duty of a husband, and I mean he won't be responsible for your needs, you can both date to know each other without any one of you overdoing things.
Respect: If you tell a girl not to do something and she sees it as you trying to control her, it is a red flag and you don't want to get married to such a person, a good girl won't see your words as command and would respect your words, for example, you tell your girl not to attend a party but she gives you a middle finger and said you don't have the right to tell her where to go, just imagine if she doesn't respect you when you are dating, what is the assurance she will when you are married.
Wake up brothers, do not let them gaslight you with we are not yet married, A lady that wants a future with you will do what you want willingly without you telling her...
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The relationship counselor has spoken!
As they say, whatever happens in a relationship is what they take into marriage. What is food that you can’t give your man. There are some things you don’t even need to be told before you do as a human being.
Everyone has their values so , if yours doesn’t match with that of your partner it’s better to let go cos there will always be problems.
There are some things you don’t even need to be told before you do as a human being.Best comment ever, I have an ex who would tell me that I should tell her what to do, I should tell her how she should treat me, like for real? why should i teach you how to love me, it should come from your heart not me telling you do this or do that.
😂😂😂wahala for you oo. She said tell her so you teach her. Some people see it as a form of communication, they don’t want to do something you wouldn’t like.
how will you if you have a boyfriend who does not care for you, he never takes you out, sometimes ignores your calls, could be gone for days when you complain and when you make an issue, he tells you that you should just tell him how you want the relationship to be and what you want him to be doing in the relationship, like you should be the one to tell him to take you out, should be the one to tell him to hug you and so on. will you teach him? when t s obvious his heart or mind isn't with you, lovers don't learn those things, it comes naturally or else you ar being played.
😂😂this person needs canes. If you’re not ready for a relationship don’t get into one, it’s that simple.
You finally understand the gist!
😂😂😂
If she doesn't respect him now while dating then am sorry for the guy when they get married. Personally I don't have issues with doing chores for a guy but honestly I won't over do anything until he takes a bold step cause some guys are ungrateful as well.
exactly, respect is not something that will miraculously happen after they get married if she doesn't have it for him... It all depends on how the man treat you though, if he is taking good care of you and support you in in the best way he can, I don't see why you cant overdo too since he is also overdoing.
You are right, if his doing his best then why can't I give him my best. But if his not trying at all should I over do my own part?
nope, if he is not putting effort into the relationship, then he might not be serious or in for a long term, so better to quit than let him waste your time
Confirmed✔️
Thanks boss.😊
Totally agree
Cooking is a serious issues. I think your friend need to settle the issues before the marriage otherwise he will be in trouble after marriage. If she wants her husband in kitchen with her for cooking them she must go for work to make financial contribution in family.
I have few good ladies friend but I never feel anyone have any kind of feelings for me and in my case there is no chance of feeling for such kind of thing because I don't think about love, crush type thing. But again I can't deny your statement because most of the cases it also happens. I will inform you if same thing happens with me also 😅.
lol, well if you are close to a certain point, they might develop feelings for you and vice versa....
she is also working but they have not become family yet, just dating.
So much to learn from this your post. As a guy, we are actually designed in a way whereby we want to be respected and honour for who we are as the man, any girl that is not giving that respect and honour is a turn off
respect is one of the things all men cherish in a relationship.
Women cook for the man they love. I don’t think that lady loves him enough and now that he’s planning to marry her…lol
Let’s see how it goes
yea it looks that way to me too, she is not fully into the relationship cos like you said, ladies love to cook for the one they love.
This right here can never be my story, I love a supportive partner, heck I love it when you do stuff for me without me asking but to me moderation is key. I believe that a man should not spend too much on me that at the end of the day I can't say a word to him because of "everything he has done for me". I tell you my problems not because I want you to solve them but because I needed to share with someone. I stand with mutual support as that comes with mutual respect as well.
My prayers are with your friend.
unfortunately most ladies in our country do not have this mentality, in fact most believe that relationship is a source of income for them and to make it worse, they still fail to do their part.
It is a fact that a man who is for the women of his house and for his wife always strives to have a good home environment and can do everything for all his people and make them a prosperous and happy family. Can give a good life but still people don't trust the man then there is sorrow later.