Stigma Comes For Us All...
I believe that one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to suffer a stigma for something you have no hand in. That’s paying the price for a crime or terrible thing that you didn’t commit, yet because the culprit is someone close to you, you are not left out when people are looking for who to blame. Simply because you’re associated with them, you could also be cast in the same light.
For this reason, many people choose to distance themselves from such people. Maybe not because of the bad things they did, but because of the stigma that could come from it. Being linked to such people would do bad for their social standing, and they would do anything to prove that they have nothing to do with all that.
What exactly am I talking about? Imagine someone waking up one day to learn the horrible truth that their loving father is actually a kidnapper, someone who has kidnapped lots of individuals and collected huge ransoms for their release. Or imagine how it would be to learn that a sibling who you thought was a successful business mogul, was actually a ritualist and an organ trafficker.
It could be a boyfriend who turned out to be a deadly armed robber, a girlfriend who ran an illegal child adoption agency, or a roommate who used the shared space as a base to sell drugs. The thing is, most of the time when these people do these things, they don’t tell those around them. They might be good at hiding it, or we might just be good at pretending that we don’t know what is really going on when in reality, we really do know.
But eventually, whether we know or not, karma always catches up with them. One way or the other, the horrible act would be discovered and everyone would know them for who they are. And that’s when the stigma would begin.
“Isn’t that the girl whose father was a kidnapper? How can she show her face here, walking around without shame?” The girl in question is not the kidnapper, she had no knowledge of her father’s crimes either, yet people believe that she shouldn’t be seen outside with others simply because of her father’s crimes. Even worse, if anyone in the vicinity had a family member or friend who had been kidnapped in the past, they could easily assume that her father had something to do with it and probably focus all their aggression on the poor girl.
Sadly, things like this follow you everywhere you go and people know your past. There will always be questions about your achievements. When you buy a new car, they can’t help but wonder if it’s Daddy’s blood money or brother’s drug proceeds that paid for the car. When you get into an accident or random bad luck, they would confirm it as karma catching up to you.
And so it goes on and on… it’s for these reasons that many times, people connected to convicted criminals end up changing their identity and moving to a new area where they can start from scratch. It’s for their own good, as well as for the victims. Because as a mother, wife, son, brother, daughter, and sister, it would be a bit hard every day to look into the faces of the victims of your family member. Seeing them at school, at the mall, in the church. Living your life, while there are still haunted by the trauma of the family member.
Is this fair? Not in any way. No one should ever have to suffer for what someone else did, regardless of their relationship. That is why no legal court will ever punish a son for the sins of his father. Sadly though, different rules and guidelines apply in the laws of society. Just mere association with them can be the same as upending everything that you’ve ever worked hard for.
That’s why today when a celebrity has even the tiniest scandal, everyone who is anyone would start dropping them. They would lose endorsement deals, fellow celebrities would wash their hands off, contracts would be lost… and it goes on.
The stigma of being associated with a criminal is real. I know that this is something that can’t change, because no matter what, people will always do this. There will always be a stigma. I just pray that there will be a time when it won’t be so bad.
There could be one solution to all this though; before committing a crime, think about your family and imagine how it would affect them. Maybe if everyone looked at it through this lens, then this stigma would not be an issue after all.
Well, what do I know? I’m just another blogger.
I can understand it well. If anyone in the family does something wrong, other family members also bear the consequences. It should not be like that but it is how it is. Again you can't blame people of society because it's necessary for them to ensure their security also and they just try to be cautious.
Yeah... I understand that. However, it doesn't make it easy. I wouldn't like it if people were scared of me simply because of what my brother or father did. But then, it is what it is. People have a right to be cautious and to do what they feel is best for their safety.
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STOPThank you for this.
You're on fire @bruno-kema! Your daily posts are keeping Hive lively and exciting.