Everyone Is Free!!!

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Friendships are one of the most important things that a person can have. Because the people you surround yourself with will be really instrumental in shaping who you are in the long run. The people you choose to hang out with will always rub off on you, either in a good way or a bad way. That’s why it’s always paramount to be careful.

But then, you can’t ever be too careful. Many times, it’s when you’ve already invested too much into the friendship that you find out some unsettling things about them. And then, you start wondering if it was all going to end, just like that. So, you give them another chance, and another chance. And soon, you begin to see reasons why the friendship can go on. Hell, you can even go ahead to convince yourself to be blind to those very issues. That’s how bad it can get.

Personally, I believe that if you find out that someone you know shares very different ideals from you. And not just different, but ideals that you find bad or toxic. You should cut them off immediately. Because many times, they have that thing ingrained in them, don’t try to be a savior. Don’t try to save them from themselves; you’re just going to end up disappointing yourself.

There are some things I can accept. I accept differences in opinions. I can even decide to be friends with someone who tells me he’s an atheist, because I’ve never been one to approach friendships through the lens of religion. But then, once I find out that you make a living through questionable means, I pull out at once. I can’t ever be friends with such a person. Fraudsters and criminals are some of the blights that are dragging this country down. I don’t think I will ever be able to understand the rationale for hurting people for monetary gain. So, anyone who chooses that route will never be friends with me.

And one that’s even worse is those who have really myopic views about gender. Once people start talking to me about the “roles” of a man or a woman, and what each was “born” to do, I know at once that they’re not for me. In this day and age, the world has advanced so far, and I’ve grown my brain so much that it would be an insult for me to be arguing and telling someone that the kitchen wasn’t just the woman’s place anymore, or men weren’t just ATM machines.

At this time, there’s nothing that can be done to change them because they’ve most likely had that feeling for too long, and it’s deeply ingrained in them. It’s not my job to change them. And since they don’t align with my values, I keep away.

The thing is, while I understand personal life choices, I can never bring myself to understand ideals that are focused on hurting or bringing others down. People are way more than just a tag or a role. There is more to being a man than just a “provider”, and there’s also more to being a woman than just a “wife”.

The reason I choose to stay away from such people is that when you hang around with them, they will always show their issues. They’d talk about it and inflict it on those around them. And many times, I’d have to see it all and look away, all in the name of preserving friendship. When you hang with fraudsters, even though you don’t support it, you’d have to look away every time they scam someone, even when you know it’s bad. Not doing it is never enough, because when you know about it and choose to ignore it, you end up being complicit.

I fully support any person's opinions, and depending on the kind of person you are, we can have really good friendships. Hell, you can’t tell me that the only god you believe in is a chair, and I won’t mind. Everyone does what works for them. I’ll only start rethinking our friendship when you begin to start doing the us vs them conversations and trying to talk down on other religions simply to make yours look better. I would never understand the rationale behind that.

So yeah, that’s just who I am. There are things I can accept and even understand. But for my friendships, there are some things that will just be a dealbreaker for me. And yeah, I’ve stopped hanging out with many people because of this particular issue. This is my fine and gentle mind, I don’t want anyone corrupting it for me biko.

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_{Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.}

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_{This post is inspired by the third topic of this week which is Friendships. Feel free to try it out.}

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_{N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.}

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