Traditional hypocrisy

Are there any traditions in your locality that are unfair to women?

I have been taking my time with this inleo prompt because I have a lot to say and loads of experiences to share. But after reading from several people and seeing how they did justice to the prompt, I will not overflog issues on Female genital mutilation and widowhood because they have already been addressed.

Let me talk about the tradition that borders on cheating.
Where I come from, a woman once married is binded intimately to her husband for life, unless in the case of divorce. More so, included in the traditional marriage rite of the woman are sacrifices which are done according to tribe. Although not all tribe subscribe to this tradition and the practice is also fast fading out in some tribe due to Christianity.

However, for those who still practice it, a goat is being slaughtered with the blood poured on the woman's feet. In my tribe, after the marriage ceremony, the woman would sweep the entire compound of her in-law with a fetish broom. The purpose of this ritual (marriage rite) is so the woman remains faithful to her husband and then commits herself to the husband's ancestors who will not hesitate to punish her whenever she cheats.

Some of these punishments include, the death of the woman, the death of her lover, the death of her children or the death of her husband (if he's aware of her extra marital affairs and does nothing about it). In cases where by the woman confesses to her extramarital affairs, she pays a fine, buys a goat for sacrifice and then gets paraded round the village as the disgraced wife.

It is only after the necessary sacrifices has been done, before her husband can take her back in as his wife and both won't get punished by the ancestors or gods of the land.

The irony of this whole charade is that, while the woman is binded to the husband traditionally, the man isn't. While the women keep faithful, some husbands get busy frolicking and gallivanting with other women and no tradition punishes them. I am heavy on doing to others what you want to be done to you. Another irony is that no one likes being cheated on, but somehow it is just women who go through traditional scrutiny to remain faithful.

Severally, I read post where some people advocate for polygyny or a side chic as a spice to preserve their marriage and then I'll often ask, "Is the wife also allowed a side lover?" Because, I mean it's only fair.

But then, every time I ask the above question, same people advocating for polygyny will start threatening with the gods of their land, that every cheating wife will die according to their traditions.

My conclusion to them always is, if your tradition will punish a woman for the same action that a man is permitted to do, then the said act is not evil, your tradition just has a problem with women.

There was a time I managed a hotel and one evening, I was at the reception going through the records for the day.

You see, evenings are usually the peak of our job, by that time we have lots of people coming in, either for short rest or to lodge till the following day.

While at the bar, in the reception area, I was taking stock of drinks when this man ran into the reception shouting blood of Jesus, followed swiftly with lots of exclamations. I stood watching him, wondering what was wrong.

Other people drinking in the bar were just as surprised as I am. We all watched this man plead the blood of Jesus as he inhaled and exhaled heavily with terror written all over his face like who just saw a ghost.

I approached him, greeted him and then asked if everything was ok. I had not even landed with my question when the man attacked and fired back saying, how can everything be ok, when I just saw my friend's wife come in here with another man for a short rest.

The way I hissed and went back to what I was doing? You know, I have heard of sinners judging other sinners for sinning differently. I have never heard of sinners judging their fellow sinners for the same sin.

This is a man who just paid for a short rest with his side chic, coming to throw tantrums for his friend's wife who also came for the same thing with her side piece.

As I walked back to continue my record keeping, I heard him say, "I do not blame you, birds of the same feathers." I pretended not to hear him, because I was not going to entertain the man and his troubles.

But then, this man wasn't backing down. He brought out his phone and started dialing the woman's husband to come catch his wife in the act which won't have ended well especially for the business. He called several times and got no response. I paused on what I was doing and warned the man not to call his friend to come cause a scene. Seeing that the man was proving stubborn, I dialed the divisional police officer (DPO) and reported the case.

I made sure to put the call on speaker so the man knows that I'm not playing. Upon hearing the DPO’s promise to send some police officers down, the man stopped calling his friend and went in for the remaining minutes of his short rest with his mistress.

As upsetting as it turned out for the man, there was nothing he could do because the fear of spending a night in a Nigeria police cell is the beginning of wisdom.

This is my response to the Inleo prompt day 9. You can participate HERE

Posted Using InLeo Alpha