The Call That Changed Everything

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I had a mental breakdown once. Actually, it was a feeling of frustration that I had been suppressing for quite a while, and I didn't feel the need to bother anyone with it. Basically, everyone has their own challenges. I mean, if they are not bothering me with theirs, why do I need to bother them with mine? For some people, it might be that they are embarrassed not to seem like the most unfortunate one.

Personally, I feel reluctant to share my burden because I don't want to come off as if I'm stylishly soliciting financial support when all I want is just someone to listen to me and cheer me on while assuring me that everything is going to be fine.

There's also me not wanting to give relevance to what I was feeling because I didn't want my problems to win. I'm of the opinion that if I ignore my challenges long enough, it will go away. But then this particular situation lingered till I got overwhelmed.

I was in a taxi headed to work when I felt the tears coming in. I immediately brought out my phone and texted my best girl informing her of my situation. She immediately responded, and as I typed, the tears were just pouring.

I narrated my ordeal with the electricity company threatening a disconnection over my neighbour's bill evasion and the family burden I had to carry that was fast becoming too tedious.

As I battled that out, we had a general blackout resulting from the relocation of some power cables, which was a hindrance to the construction workers constructing a bridge in that location. I had food stored in the freezer and didn't know what to do with all of it as it couldn't be eaten at once. I also could not bear the thought of it going bad, so I panicked. Not to mention, I was stressed out and overwhelmed by my stringent activities of work, grocery shopping, kitchen, etc.

My friend consoled me and, told me all I needed to hear while cheering me on. After we got done talking, I got on another call with a friend who needed directions to a location in my state. While I spoke, he interrupted, questioning if I was ok as he could feel the weight of whatever it was that I was going through in my voice. Again, I found myself narrating my predicament and the whole conversation became about me.

When I finished talking, my friend engaged me in a therapeutic exercise where I paid attention to my breathing and focused on happy memories. It was quite helpful as gradually I felt the weight lessened. I became calm and like my friend earlier, he advised that I share my responsibilities and not take up all the workload in the home.

Most importantly, to combat my anxiety, he counselled me on the importance of living in the moment and not dwelling in the past or worrying about the future.

I am someone who is either dwelling on the past or focusing on worst-case scenarios that might happen. With the worst-case scenario, I thought it would prepare me better for unforeseen challenges. Little did I know I was causing so much mental trauma to myself. The moment I started living in the moment, I gained control over my anxiety.

From my experience, it became clear that we create our problems. Immediately, I dropped the firstborn African mentality and started delegating some tasks to my siblings, my burden lessened, and life became somewhat easier.