Motherhood, the journey.
The day started like every other day in the suburbs with the working class folks at work and the stay at home parents going about their chore. Soti however, does a hybrid job and on that day, she was home doing some cleaning and then her telephone rang. Pausing on her kitchen activities, she thought briefly of putting a halt in her cleaning out the drainage and answering the telephone or just ignoring the call. In those brief seconds of wonder and war between choices, Soti quickly remembered that she wasn't expecting any call and she trusted her daughter to be on her best behaviour not to get in trouble at school.
"Eh!" she shrugged, raising her left shoulder slightly as she turned back to her kitchen sink and went about flushing out the clogs. Seeing that the various solutions she had tried weren't working, she reached out for her kitchen tool to loosen the drainage pipes when the telephone rang again.
Soti deliberately ignored the ringing and continued with what she was doing but it just kept ringing and with every delay seemed like the telephone rang a little louder than the first disrupting Soti's focus.
In anger, she dragged out her left glove with her right hand that is in a glove too. She held onto the pulled glove in her right hand and matched straight to the telephone yanking it off the wall.
"Hello?" Soti called out grudgingly. A response didn't come through immediately but she listened for one and could hear a baby crying loudly plus children yelling. She Listened closely again, to be sure all is well and maybe it's a wrong dial. That was when she heard her friend Linda screaming and crying amidst screams for her children to behave.
Soti wondered why Linda called her in the middle of a crisis with her children. She knew Linda's husband just travelled out of town and even if he's home, for the past 8 years that they've lived in the neighborhood, she has never heard Linda and the husband in a quarrel or fight before. Soti wanted to be troubled but felt it's just one of those frustrating moments in motherhood.
"Hello", Soti called again.
Still not getting any response, Soti dropped the call and wore her glove. Turning back to her kitchen activities, the telephone rang again but this time, Soti didn't bother to take the gloves off. She was convinced that the call was probably a mistake or maybe one of Linda's children dialing her randomly to annoy their mother. She walked back to the kitchen but the ringing won't stop. Turning back to the telephone again, Soti growled and as soon as she picked up the call to vent, she heard Linda call out in a quavering voice, "hello, Soti? Help!" Before Soti could say a word to inquire what's going on, the line went dead. Removing her kitchen gloves quickly, she dashed out of her house to Linda's house that is a few blocks away.
On getting to Linda's door post, Soti saw Linda rush out with her children like she's been waiting for her arrival. Linda was clearly having a panic attack and before Soti could inquire what went wrong, she handed her baby over to Soti alongside her triplets.
"Please look after them will you? I need to clear my head." Linda, who looked like she'd been suffering from insomnia with her pupils dilated and underneath her eye area housing gigantic eyebags, jumped into her car and zoomed off.
Standing at Linda's door post with Linda's children, Soti stood and watched Linda zoom off to God knows where. Looking at Linda's children, she saw how confused they looked, their usual rowdy nature was suppressed as the boys were really calm and still. More like they were reflecting on their actions with their mother and felt a little bit of remorse.
To lighten up the moment, Soti roared playfully like a lion and said to the triplets, "I'm going to catch you unless you run inside the house".
Not fully over what had just happened with their mother, the triplets pushed the entrance door open and one after the other, they sluggishly walked into the house. Soti followed suit, holding on to the baby and shutting the door behind her.
Immediately Soti got into Linda's home, she dropped the baby in her playpen and turned on the TV for the triplet who watched with wrapped attention. Certain that the children were settled in, Soti placed a call across to their mutual friend Brenda who also lived in the same neighborhood.
Narrating everything that had happened, Soti pleaded with Brenda to come to Linda's so that they could both go look for her.
Not long after both women set out on their search for Linda, they saw her at the park resting her back on one side of the football goal post. Both women rushed to her side and the moment Linda saw them, she quickly asked after her children whom Soti assured her were safe with her teenage daughter who had closed from school for the day.
“Linda, are you ok? I rushed back home from my place of business the moment I received Soti’s SOS. What's wrong? Brenda pushed some more, squatting to Linda's level and using one hand to aid Linda in pushing back some of the hair that kept falling to her face.
“Everything is not ok Brenda, everything is going South and I am a terrible mother. Today I just felt like ending it all.”
“Well that's motherhood Linda, sink or swim”. Soti interrupted Linda's narration to Brenda.
“What do you mean by that? Sink or swim?” Linda inquired, tilting her head upward facing Soti.
“Well, it's like this Linda, motherhood is not for the faint hearted and then there's you having all your children almost at once. I mean it would have been easier if they were mostly girls but you got three boys at once and a baby girl. Definitely that's a lot to handle alone if I might add. Because basically your husband is hardly ever around, always off on business trips and meetings.
Heck! When I was still nursing my daughter, even with all the help from her father, there were days I'd get so confused and I would just cry especially when her dad was asleep. I was still struggling to stay afloat being a new mom and my darling husband divorced me for a younger woman. How did you think I held on? I was a wreck Linda but I kept pushing. Even when I was tired and exhausted I kept swimming because I didn't want to sink, at least for the sake of my baby girl who got just me.”
After Soti's narration, Linda sat up and wiped her tears.
“Omg! Soti, I never knew”. Linda said as she reached out for Soti's hands, holding on to it tightly.
“Of course, we never talk about our struggles.” Soti responded, with a straight face and tightened her grip on Linda's hold.
“You know I always felt like I was a terrible mom. I used to be at the top of my game, employee of the month for 12 months on a roll. Promotions here and there. That was the life that I knew but my husband and I wanted the best for our children, we both can't be working and neglect our parenting duties. One had to make the sacrifice and who else but the mom right?” Linda scoffs as tears welled up in her eyes.
“You are an amazing mom Linda, in fact I envy you. I couldn't pull up home schooling for my children. When I was still nursing, I couldn't deal with the divided attention. Sometimes, I get our dinner burnt. There were times I even forgot to go for a school run, not until I got a call from their school.”
“Wow! Omg Brenda, are you for real?” Both Soti and Linda chorused in surprise.
“Yeah, I mean their teacher understood I guess, because I was really lucky we weren't reported to social services. It was when I was hospitalized due to the stress triggering my blood pressure causing it to rise, that my husband got the children a nanny.
I almost died fam, indeed with motherhood, either you sink or you swim. It's even worse when your partner is absent.” Brenda concluded, causing Linda's tears to wash down her face freely.
“I never knew y'all struggled this much, I always thought you had it easy and my own was different. Why did no one tell me this? All this while I felt like a failure.” Linda cried some more speaking to her friends amidst tears. Both Brenda and Soti gave her a consoling hug promising to help her through her motherhood journey as much as they can.
The three ladies shared some quiet moments lying on the grass and watching the clouds as the sun gradually goes out.