Live and let Live
Say no to challenges… Can we really say no to challenges? Because challenges are what makes us who we are.
As a successful person, if you look at your life 10 years ago, you'd agree that the experiences gathered during that 10 years, forms the life you enjoy now.
Those experiences most times were not ice cream and cake, they were sweat, blood and tears.
In my religion we don't call it problems, we call it challenges, recognising that these challenges are stepping stones to a better version of ourselves.
The thing with life's experiences is that, they are beautifully crafted and tailored to every human's capacity and strength.
There's these saying that God or life can never give an individual situations that they can't handle.
Knowing this about life, why deny another the opportunity to experience it to the fullest simply because you are a parent?
My mother will always say that the best gift you can give to any child is education, holding every other necessity constant.
With education, the child can form a character or have their characters refined. Their minds get trained to think, they can attain a reasonable level of enlightenment and exposure such that they get to make informed decisions.
You know, education is the number one reason why Southern Nigeria has more development in human capital than the North. According to UNICEF, every child deserves a shot at quality education.
Going forward, as parents, it is common knowledge that we most times do not want our children to get hurt. Subconsciously, some of us wish they could remain babies forever, so we can have them protected under our wings of parenting.
There are some parents whom, in a bid to not want their children to experience the downside of life, end up raising spoiled brats.
My mommy will often say, letting children have their way with everything is not love. I am raising my daughter such that she understands contentment and the rhythm of life. There are days she gets just food and water to school, no snacks and no juice. On such days, the food and water, is usually double packed.
Again, there are weekends where ice cream Sundays won’t happen, there are times when she goes without the TV and gets her tab taken away. There are times she doesn’t get play dates.
I need her to experience life from all angles so she knows that the absence of certain privileges is not the end of one's life or limitation of happiness.
The next approach for me in this parenting thing, is to make her learn martial arts. I want to be sure that wherever I am, she’s safe because she can defend herself.
All I’m simply trying to do is not to eliminate the obstacles and challenges, but to prepare my daughter for them.
So recently, my sister called me that she finally stopped wearing her son a diaper to school, and I was super excited because I have been on her neck to free the child, let him grow and she'll say, he's just two years old, he's still a baby. Let us call him George.
While I was congratulating her and George for the milestone achieved, she said his nanny at school was complaining that George doesn't talk or express himself which leaves him wetting his soiling his uniform.
For that reason, she wants George to go back to diaper and I told my sister God forbid! That's not happening.
I told her it's normal for George not to express himself, as he's just coming back from the long holidays. Not only that but George started talking during the holidays. He needs to warm up to his Nanny, and that's her Job to make that happen.
My sister was worried about George facing any embarrassments and his classmates making jest of him for messing up himself.
I told her it's actually better she let George experience that embarrassment, next time he would find a way to communicate with his nanny so he doesn't mess himself up. The nanny at her end, will also find a way to understand George so that she doesn't keep cleaning up his mess.
Further more, I told my sister to keep packing extra shorts and undies for George, just in case he needs to be changed.
Two days later she called and was really excited that George's teacher updated her that George now uses the restroom by himself. Actually, he came to her first that he wanted to wee. She took him to wee and from there hence forth, George started going to the restroom himself.
My joy knew no bound, while it might not seem like an achievement to some, it is a milestone for us because George's growth process has commenced, and he's doing really well.
My sister was grateful as she informed me that she took my advice and also remembered when my daughter was younger, I'd always talk to her and she listens. From there henceforth, she started telling George to always go to his Nanny whenever he wants to wee, and George listened.
I'm like, you, see? Now that's how to be a parent, guiding George, letting him experience life and learning from it.
ABOVE IS MY RESPONSE TO THE HIVE LEARNERS PROMPT
Say No To Challenges
If you could, will you make life as easy as possible for your kids, even to the point of eliminating all obstacles in their way instead of allowing them face and overcome them on their own. Which would you prefer to do? Why do you feel your choice is what's best for them?
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