In the moment - #LOH213

Image is mine

Living in the present is something that escapes most of us because we are either living in the past or in the future and that's how we worry. The thing with meditation and being mindful is that we get to live in the present and this can often be torture for the mind during first time practice. If there's one thing I struggle with from childhood is keeping my mind calm. I tried with meditation and I tried with contemplation but then my mind won't just sit still. The more I try to calm my mind, the less calm it becomes because it fights back.

Recently, I started practicing mindfulness and this seems to happen spontaneously for me especially with my dreams. I seem to be aware of even the slightest smell and every emotion that I'm feeling and sometimes I awaken with these feelings and sense of smell. I didn't quite know what to call it but this prompt has helped me give it a name.

In my religion we are taught contemplation, we are taught to treat the mind like a child. I didn't know what it meant to treat the mind like a child till I became a mom. I got a strong willed daughter who behaved exactly like my mind. I tried the compulsion approach but it failed, then I decided to do the opposite because one thing I have learned over the years is to do the opposite of whatever doesn't yield desired results.

I started to listen to my daughter, from listening, I started to understand her and thus we built some sort of connection. Attaining this level of consciousness with my child was unknowingly a step to mindfulness and effective contemplation.

When I resumed the practice of resting the mind for effective contemplation via meditation, I got on mindfulness. Instead of shutting my mind up, I listened and then I questioned. Thus, it becomes like an interactive session with thought. When the mind starts to drift to whatever doesn't serve in the now, like maybe a past event or future occurrence, I ask why worry about what you have no control over and miss out on what is within your control which is the present? Because I mean the past is gone, the Future is still ahead but the present is now.

Why worry about the future when you can work with the present for a desired futuristic outcome? Gradually, I'd feel my mind settling for rest and calmness. From there, I became exposed and aware of things that I didn't even know or think was possible.

My anxiety was in check and this gave room for me to sync to my surroundings. At all times I am able to ascertain what I'm feeling and trace the cause. I became in control of my emotions and it seemed that I now understand life better.

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