Home Sweet Haven

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Growing up, I had always wanted to be independent from my family, never to walk in anyone's shadows, and honestly, this landed me in a lot of challenging situations.

I was in my early 20s when I first left home to start life independently in another state. At the time, I didn't have a job; I was almost rounding up with study, plus I was nursing. Despite not having any solid source of income, I took the bull by the horn and relocated.

I made sure to keep this decision of mine from my dad because I knew he wouldn't approve. When he eventually got to know, he panicked. My daughter was just a few months old, and to my dad, we were both babies in need of adult supervision lol. Every day while I was away in my new home, my dad would always call to check up on me and my daughter. He would often end the call with, "Remember, you always have a home to come back to when the going gets tough."

Rightfully so, the going did get tough, and twice I had relocated out of my parents' house; I saw myself becoming a victim of circumstance. The first challenge that I encountered was failing to do the right thing at the right time. I had rounded up my remaining academic work, just my thesis defense. While my friend got done with his thesis and was set to defend it before the academic board, I was nonchalant as I thought, "Oh, I have time."

Unfortunately, after the first dissertation defense, there was a nationwide strike of academic staff in various universities. This strike lasted for a year, and by the time the strike was ending, the academic calendar had already elapsed, and this cost me. Those of us who couldn't defend in the first batch were mandated to pay another set of school fees.

At the time, I had started an online kitchen and was able to gather enough for rent and other necessities. Seeing the situation at hand, I had no choice but to divert the money meant for my rent to settle my school fees and other academic expenses. By the time I was done, I had no money left for rent. I was almost financially stranded, and in order not to be homeless and starving, I gathered the money I had left and relocated back home.

I relocated home for the second time, not because I was stranded, but then after careful consideration, I realized that adulthood is not a walk in the park, neither is it a race. Really, there is nothing wrong with being in your comfort zone if it serves your greater purpose. I mean, if you are doing well, why do you have to go out there to battle with the unknown? I don't like to live in regret, so I won't say that I regretted my choices because leaving home did give me the needed experience to navigate this current stage of my life.

Sometimes I do wonder if things would have turned out differently and far better if I had remained home and just keyed into the family influence. But then I doubt that I would have gotten the respect that I enjoy now if I had remained. Indeed every experience is meant to serve our greater good but then it's all about careful consideration.

Being an adult shouldn't automatically make us lone wolf. It doesn't also mean we have to battle alone. At all times we should know where to draw the line and fall back for the needed support