Grooming

The prompt is, kids are also part of the family and we have seen parents who do not hide their struggles from their kids, while others do the opposite. Which is right and why? At what age do parents expose their kids to family struggles

Yesterday morning, I told parrot that we could not afford food. I actually needed her reaction for this prompt. Parrot is five years old by the way and she's my daughter.

After I told her she would not be having food for the day because we can't afford it, she had her emotional moments but she bounced back quickly. Next, she searched the house with her eyes and saw a jar of golden morn of which she said that she would settle for it as that was the only edible in sight.

Her decision to settle for the golden morn came after she had cleared me that she cannot starve. Even though she does not eat golden morn, as she doesn't like it, she was willing to compromise and make do with what is available. Her reaction yesterday morning was exactly what I expected because that is how she was groomed by me.

Moving on, I pushed a little further and told Parrot that the golden morn is for grandma and that is what grandma will be eating. She became so downcasted and was close to tears, then I asked her if she would drink garri, she quickly said yes. It was at that moment my mom came to ruin my little experiment and asked me to give Parrot the golden morn if she wanted it.

At that point, I started laughing and my daughter got confused. I gave her a hug and told her it was a prank, then she asked in a mix of emotions from tears and joy, “mommy were you playing?”

I responded yes, laughing again but this time I hugged her tight. She quickly freed herself from my embrace and screamed, "yaay…. I am going to drink tea (chocolate beverage)”, then she started dancing.

Ladies and gentlemen, that's it for my little experiment. Basically, no age is too small for a child to know when the going gets tough with the family finances because every moment of their life is a learning process right from inception.

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Growing up, my parents never hid their financial struggles from us. I'm guessing that's where I learned contentment from. At this my adult age, no one can pressure me with money or luxury, even at my lowest moment. From my childhood experience and how my parents handled us with money and the good things of life, I am quick to adjust to what is available, especially when the going gets tough.

Back then and even up to this moment, if ever I or any of my siblings ask my parents for any form of financial help that they can't render at the time, they will tell us point blank, “I nor get money, I can't help.”

Once my parents pronounce their stance of not being able to assist you financially, there is no amount of tantrum or emotional blackmail that we will throw to pressurize them into doing our bidding. If we complain too much, the next thing that my mother will say is, “I can see that you do not even know who gave birth to you because when I have money it's obvious for everyone to see, I don't hide it.”

My father will immediately clear us that he cannot steal or kill himself for us so we are going to rest and that immediately keeps my siblings and I in check. This made us learn to live life within our means too.

There were times back then when we went to school with just food and water. We were not fortunate enough to get snacks or juice. Any of us that want to overstep our l boundaries and demand for pocket money, my father will ask, what do you need the money for, do you pay rent? Are you the one feeding or clothing yourself? Immediately he asks these questions, we are brought back to reality.

When we compare ourselves with other children and say oh they have nice things, we want it too. They eat meat pies and take juice during recess, we also want to be eating meatpies and drinking juice too… My mother will immediately ask us if that is food. She will proceed to ask questions, don't I give you food to school? Is there ever a day you guys don't take breakfast in this house?

Next she will say ok, choose between cooking and buying of snacks. Again, we are brought back to reality because we know that cooked food will fill us more.

Their rejection of these things doesn't mean that we don't get to eat them, we do of course. Sometimes, when my dad makes some extra money, he will stop at my mom's office when she closes and they will both go out for dinner.

We do not get left behind because they will also get us different types of snacks that we eat to our satisfaction and take some to school. That way, whenever they cannot afford the extra cost of giving us snacks to school, we understand that at the time, it is not feasible for them financially.

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Being a parent, I cringe whenever I see other parents go out of their way to provide their children with wants.

One time, my hairdresser was panicking about how she would gather enough money to buy her children cartons of juice for school because things were really rough for her family.

I'm like, don't they take food to school? She said they do, then I told her that if she can't afford the juice, let them rest. But surprisingly, she shouted no o! Not my children, that means you don't want me and my husband to have peace in our house. Or was it her last child that will not go on errands for her if she does not give him money? One day she had to leave my hair to go on the errands because the boy asked her for fifty naira and she did not have the money to give him.

I was so pissed that day and I noticed my daughter was watching the whole scene with keen interest. The moment we got home, I gave her a serious warning not to try such nonsense with me because I know how bad habit sticks.

In conclusion, I'd say that children are smart. The children of now adays are not dummies and healthy parenting is grooming ones children within ones means because then, the children will grow up to become responsible adults.

GALLERY

An image of golden morn, it goes with liquid milk and maybe sugar.

A bowl of garri

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