Few words from home.

Image is mine

Growing up, I have never followed the crowd or joined a bandwagon.

When the crowd is going right, I am going left and vice versa. I guess one of the things that made me this way is my father and the fact that we actually have a family name to protect.

I can remember turning 16 and gradually tilting towards adulthood, it was also a time I was preparing for Uni. At my end of the world, it is common knowledge that the University becomes a breeding ground for all sorts of immorality especially for young girls.

One day, my father called me and asked me to sit down, he started with the good old words of wisdom from an African parent.

Such words that usually influence the path you take as you are ushered into adulthood. The type of words that form your decision-making process as you go out to be part of the macro system.

“If you need anything, do not hesitate to tell me about it.

Always be contended with what you have, and I will provide for you within the best of my capacity.

You don't have to prostitute or indulge in any illegalities to get the basics or luxury, remember where you are coming from and do not be a disgrace to the family.”

My father said these words to me and further warned me on the dangers of doing drugs.

I was a young girl, but these words shaped me because I got into Uni and peer pressure got nothing on me.

Before getting into the Uni, my classmate Bethan and I who finished secondary school together, had gone to Delta State University to sit for our entrance exam.

We stayed with her elder sister Laura who was already schooling there.

Two other girls, but one a bit older than the rest of us was also putting up with Bethan's sister as they had come for the entrance exam as well.

The night after we had all taken our exams and preparing to leave the next day, Laura gave us the talk and put us through Uni expectations. She talked about what to expect from Uni life and how to act.

She was basically giving us tips on how to survive Uni, until she deviated and started talking about part of what my father had warned me against.

Laura started the talk of her indecent night life with, “my friends always think that it's all about flashy, but the thing is most men want simple.

I might not be the definition of a big girl because I don't do luxury much, but I am beautiful and when I go out clubbing with my friends, I am always the first to get a man."

She concluded, "often times, I am the only one who get picked as my friends end up going back home with their long eye lashes and drag makeup”.

At first, I wasn't really getting the gist, neither was I understanding where she was driving at.

In fact, I was lost and confused until she started talking to the older girl among us, while referring to us as little children who have not seen life yet.

“These ones have not started life so they will not understand what I'm saying. When they get into the Uni, they will realize that parent's money is never enough, and they will remember this night”. Laura said to the girl and they both laughed at our naivety.

Oh! I can still remember the battle of self I had that night after the talk was over.

In my corner at Laura's one-room apartment, lying down in the dark with no electricity, I looked at the ceiling and let my mind pose the questions, “are parents money not enough? If parents money are usually not enough to live on while in Uni, what other alternatives out there deviates from Laura's actions?”

Then, I didn't seem to get any answer so I concluded that the answers will come as life unveils itself.

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I got into the Uni and saw first hand what Laura talked about and all that my father had warned me against.

For starters, I was always rommates with girls who were living life on the fast lane. At first we'd become friends but when they see that I am not indulging in their lifestyle, they are cutting me off.

You know, it will not cost me much to be matching their financial strength despite not doing what they do for money. But somehow, I found the need to save whatever that is left from the money coming from home than to consume luxury good.

I was never caught up in the web of such peer pressure and when my father's finances was affected due to some of the new government policies at the time, I was able to come through for myself financially with my savings.

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