Discerning when to stay silent

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There's a very thin line between argument and quarrel. What most people do is to quarrel and not to argue. While both Arguments and quarrels are emotional phenomena. Quarrel is usually what happens when anger sets in. I believe that if we learn to control our anger and be in charge of our emotions, we could maintain the line of argument which is expressing our distinct opinions in other to reach an agreement.

I have since learned not to argue because it often leads to quarrels. People will say anything to prove a point and it doesn't matter who wins. It's all about who gets hurt. One thing about arguments is that their outcome is never worth it. It usually leaves one feeling upset and ruins their day. With arguments one party is usually the most affected and while the other just goes about their day like nothing happened, the emotional one is usually left devastated with an aching heart.

As an emotional person, I'm usually the one left with regrets after an argument and even if I put the other person where they belong, I still regret my actions because at that moment I keep questioning was it all worth it. Currently, I try to stay clear of arguments so I won't have any reason to quarrel and settle disputes with anybody. It's all about prevention is better than cure now but in the past, I loved to always prove a point. I am someone who can never lose an argument and the more I argue the more rage I feel especially when the other person turns it into a quarrel by being disrespectful. I used to also think that if they go low, I go lower and that's especially when I know that I am right.

Rage hurts and this has led me to cut off ties with supposed friends and acquittances something that walking away or ignoring the situation would have prevented from happening. I look back to those moments and it's usually not my proudest. While I cannot turn back the hands of time and do things differently, I have resolved to do now what I should have done then to advert the regrets that I do feel sometimes. Best believe me when I say it is one of the hardest things to do walking away at that moment when you feel the rage creeping in from your gut.

The moment you feel disrespected the urge to defend your honour pricks your skin. That moment when your heart gets heavy with words and it feels like your throat will explode if you don't let it out. It's usually a battle of choice and decisions in such situations. For me, I try to do the opposite of what my emotions demand and today was one of those days where I battled with myself to avoid arguments and unnecessary quarrels.

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I was headed to work and I entered a tricycle. I had wanted to also go to the plaza to fix my phone and I was communicating with my colleague the whole time since I would be the one to open the office for him. At that moment I was discussing with my colleague on the phone to conclude, the tricycle halted for a lady in my neighbourhood who does dry cleaning. She was with two men who came to lease a generator from her. As they bent the generator trying to get it behind our heads in the tricycle, the fuel in it started pouring because it seemed the distance they were fitting it through was not spacey enough.

While I spoke to my colleague, I heard the lady speak to me in a very rude manner ordering me to come down from the tricycle to create enough space for the generator to get in and fit behind. I paid her no attention basically because I didn't want to believe she was speaking to me in such a manner. I continued with my call and the next thing she yelled at me to go out questioning if I was deaf. At that point, I felt my anger brew. I paused on my call and looked at this lady.

I refrained from giving her a sound warning never to speak to me like that, because I knew if I acted on what my mind was saying to me, it would lead to a heated argument and ultimately a quarrel. I saw that the woman's action was out to ruin my day and I wasn't ready for that. While I was battling inwardly, the driver asked them to bring the generator to the front and one of the men should join him to keep the generator from falling. While they struggled to fit the generator in the front, the woman who seemed rude a while back no longer minded me.

Although, I still wanted to set her straight by telling her that's not how to speak to people but then I questioned myself to what end? I quickly remembered the experience my mom shared with me of her encounter with the same lady and I realised such a person will always be ready for a quarrel. At that point, I wasn't going to spend the rest of my day in rage and possibly regret so I took a deep breath and swallowed all that I had to say.

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