Concerns, Lessons and Decisions

First year in Uni as an undergraduate had me going all out for my education. I wanted to see what I was capable of intellectually so studying was all I cared about. I had a perfect attendance score and it was always me reading. This gave me the privilege to engage the lecturers in sound arguments plus debates.

I attended every lecture prepared and was actively contributing in various classes. At a point some of the lecturers picked interest in me and would always invite me to their office for company. An invite I would always politely decline because I have heard so many stories of how lecturers rope students into unhealthy relationships. I didn't want to be amongst such victims so while I read for good grades, I avoided any form of close contact or communications with my lecturers. But like the saying goes, you can run but you can't hide.

The structure of the Uni was built in such a way that the lecturers' offices were behind and in front of the various classrooms. While the hostels were farther down, there was no way that the students would pass to their various hostels without being spotted by one or two lecturers.

On such occasions, when going to my hostel, some of my department lecturers would see me and call me. A call that often prompted me to go meet them in their offices. Not like they had anything important to say to me. Most times, all they were interested in was my love life. And when being put on the hot seat to talk about my relationship, I quickly found a way to raise an interesting argument that they will be forced to share their opinions on.

While my tactics worked, there was a particular lecturer, let's call him Mr Ernest. You see, Mr Ernest was hell bent on knowing who I was involved with. Eventually when he discovered that I had no relationship, he started indicating interest in dating me. From there henceforth, I did well to avoid him and his advances until one hot afternoon after lectures. I was done with school work for the day and all I could think about was a cold shower.

As I walked to my hostel, passing the front route, I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw Mr Ernest gesturing to me from the door of his friend's office. I stood a bit and when I saw that he had gone inside, it was me kicking the dust and angrily fighting with the wind because Mr Ernest was the least person I had wanted to see.

I pulled myself together then went to the office to meet up with him. He offered me a chair to sit on. I took a quick glance at the room and discovered that his friend was out. Immediately I wondered if Mr Ernest was there specifically for me.

"You know there is a question that has been bothering me to ask you". Mr Ernest spoke, pulling me out of my head. Before I could ask what the question was, he quickly cut in questioning if I'm from royalty.

"No sir, why do you ask?"

"Because of how you walk so gracefully with your chin high up and your body movement swaying like you own the place". At this point, I was really weird out because from Mr Ernest analysis, it goes to show that he's been watching me closely for a while. All I did was to smile so as not to make the situation more awkward than it already was.

"So what village are you from?" Mr Ernest questioned again. This time, I felt a little at ease so I told him.

It was now Mr Ernest's turn to experience some moment of awkwardness. He couldn't speak for a while, not even when I questioned if all was well. And just when I tried to excuse myself from the office, Mr Ernest revealed that I happened to be from the same village as his mother which invariably makes me his sister. I still did not know where the whole conversation was headed till he made the parable, "dog nor dey chop dog (dog cannot eat dog)" which means that since we are from the same village, he cannot be in a relationship with me.

I exhaled sharply to his notice and he had a heartfelt laughter. Then he said, "God save you." From then on, Mr Ernest went on to give me some sort of immunity cloak as the other lecturers left me alone. I also didn't disappoint or have any reason to be at the mercy of any lecturer because my grades were high.

I was among the top 3 best in my department, until my 300 level when I decided to give relationship a trial. My choice of boyfriend didn't go down well with Mr Ernest. While he had expected me to continue giving my studies 100% attention, he never thought I'd go into a relationship with someone considered to be a deviant. Well, in my defence, I thought he was really sweet as he swept me off my feet and treated me exactly like the baby girl that I am lol.

While I was having the time of my life hanging out with my boyfriend after school hours and neglecting my studies, Mr Enrest do not ever pass on any opportunity to advice me. When he saw that I was not heeding to his advice, he threatened to call my parents to report me. A threat that did not deter me but just made me more sneaky in my dealings.

For a very long while, I was low key with my relationship. When going to see my boyfriend, I would take the bush path to avoid being sighted. Mr Ernest was usually around my boyfriend's area having a sit out in one of the bars. So one evening, my boyfriend was seeing me off as it was exam period and I needed to study with my coursemates.

While we were waiting for a motorcycle, it was Mr Ernest asking someone to come and call me. I didn't want to go at first until the person mentioned his name. My boyfriend, who was already aware of Mr Ernest's disapproval of us, wanted to follow me to go give Mr Ernest a piece of his mind. I refused and insisted on going alone.

In my head, I thought that I was doing us good, but my boyfriend didn't feel the same way and that became the beginning of our problems. He stopped taking my calls and kept his distance. Mr Ernest on the other stopped relating with me and disassociated himself from me.

That period was emotionally traumatic for me and even when my boyfriend related with me, it just wasn't as it used to be. I was frustrated and this greatly showed on my academic performance. I saw my results and it didn't look like mine. I went from a 4 point lowest GP to a 3.5.

I felt like a disappointment and was still trying to not be too hard on myself until Mr Ernest happened again. He didn't even mind it was during lectures. I had come late and as I walked in, he stopped teaching and faced me. This man told me so many hurtful words that I didn't know when I started crying. At first he said them in my native language but in order to ridicule me in the presence of everyone, he switched to English. I made an attempt to leave the class and he threatened to fail me if I do because I will never get access back in.

I sat that day after the whole ordeal and thought really hard about my life. I hated Mr Ernest but at the same time, I thought it was him being concerned. Also, while I tried to understand my boyfriend's anger, I knew that it was time to set my priorities right. I ended the relationship and went back to giving my attention to the one thing that took me to uni, my education.