A better tomorrow

Image is mine

I have honestly found my life to be easier as a woman and trust me, in the next life, I still would want to be a woman because I see what men go through and I am speaking for myself when I say I can't.

Being a man is difficult, being a man is hard, and we all have our fair share of societal backlash.

The thing is that men do not express their challenges as much as we women do because why should they voice out their frustration when Society expects them to be tough?

Whether man or woman, we each have our fair share of societal backlash, and it all boils down to what we are willing to accept.

It is easier to maneuver your way as a woman than a man, especially if you are intelligent, men will do you favors without sexualizing you.

One life hack I have come to realize as a woman is that you need to be intelligent, outspoken, and bold. You need to have a mind of your own and invest in yourself to be of value.

One thing that has kept me going is taking up the challenge. For every time I was told that I cannot amount to anything or something is out of my reach, I push harder.

I do not let the opinions of people define me. As a woman, I know that I have to be tough in other to not be taken advantaged of.

I try not to be in a position where I will be at the mercy of anyone.

The thing is, I have not always been like this. I have had my own fair share of abuse and I fought back.

For every harassment I overcome, I set standards which whoever I come in contact with must adhere to.

I project myself as an intellectual being and not a sexual tool nor the weaker gender and this has worked for me because trust me, people would treat you based on what you allow.

One problem we women have but is fast correcting itself, is that we don't respect ourselves, and we rarely stand up for ourselves and the men see this, so it's effortless for them to use that against us.

Before now, subjecting a widow to humiliating rituals after the demise of her husband was a thing, and who executes this act? Women!

Female genital mutilation was a thing, and who was carrying out this operation? Women!

A female relative of mine is married to an abusive partner whose mother is supporting the man's behavior.

The funny thing is that she will not advise her son to treat my relative well, but instead she will advise my relative to endure that it is the same thing she faced with his father.

My first boyfriend's mother was outrightly abusive towards me. I would go for weekends, and she will subject me to all forms of domestic chores and manual labor. I even cooked with firewood.

Her son my bf will be in his room playing video game while I will pack out his clothes to wash with his Cousin sister.

Thereafter, we will be made to clean the house, cook and serve him because, according to his mother, who says this in present of my bf and to our face, we are women, and it's our duty to serve him as a man.

This woman would always yell that we were too slow in our chores. But her son is not a good for nothing guy who can't do anything for himself.

She even reported me to my mother that she did not train me well and that I am too lazy. At a point, I go to the house and not bother to lift a pin since she cannot be pleased.

There was a time she walked in on my boyfriend and me in the kitchen, and she started quarreling with me. Next, She sent him out saying that he was not meant to be in the kitchen, that's my job.

The man was a great guy and all, but I ended the relationship and people thought of me as a fool.

Once, my colleagues and me at my former employment travelled for a seminar with our Chief security officer (CSO) who is a woman.

During our journey, Wherever we encounter police block, she will just say “esprit de corp” and they will open the block for us to pass.

Some would request for her ID card and once she shows it they'll allow us to pass.

Note, these officers we've been encountering were men. But when we got to the check point, a woman officer was in charge, esprit de corp did not work.

She was so rude to the CSO, saying, “what's my business with your esprit de corps?” Why? Because She wanted bribe and as she was being rude to her fellow female officer, the men were watching.

If we want to have a voice and be treated better collectively by our male counterpart, we need to treat ourselves better first as women, we need to stop stereotyping ourselves, we must stand up for ourselves and we have to support one another.

Above is my response to the Mayinleo prompt day 22 you can participate here

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