What the spirit?
Lily is in a Waldorf School. Today, we had adult school. An interesting man who studied Anthroposophy for 50 years talked. And I encountered my nemesis question – why don’t I need spirituality?
Since I’ve gone on the journey to discover my own values, my moral, my perception of right and wrong and what I personally value more and what less, the question about higher beings have become obsolete. Yes, that’s what many people perceive as arrogant, and I get why – as well as I get why people need spirituality. But it’s true for me. It always boils down to the same question:
Would I act differently?
No. That has to be the answer. Each and every time. That said, in retrospective, the answer is “I shouldn’t have, but…”, because I do plunge head first into the dung from time to time. Have to. It’s part of my learning process. I spent most of my childhood voluntarily on farms, so dung is familiar. Good stuff. So versatile. Energy, gas, incense (isn’t that the greatest human invention! Making poo smell so awesome that you use it to cover the smell of your poo!), fertilizer, construction material, … But that’s not important right now.
The line between meta and physical is thin.
As my inconclusive narrative proves. Anyway. My values have been instilled. They’re there, intrinsic now. After a burn out around 2 years ago, I questioned them. Hard. I dug deep, with help from a friend who’s way more experienced in questioning himself than I was. I was able to find my values, define them, even refine them. And based on that, I changed my morality. Not too much, I was somewhat coherent before, but I am so much more now.
It’s my new base.
And I’m happier for it. I feel more centered, more myself. It’s easier to say no, easier to say yes with all my heart and soul. Not perfect, there’s still struggle, as there should be, gotta grow somehow and resistance, the other, the negative is awesome fertilizer for growth – like dung. Circles, circles. Being coherent with my values is my source for that happiness, that productive happiness that lets me be sad, devastated, crying, laughing, up and down and all around, but always happy. Always able to derive something out of every situation.
Because I’m right.
I’m doing right. By my standards. Sure, it’s not your standards. I appreciate that, the otherness, so much. But that’s the arrogance that people think they see. I don’t need a god to do right by me. I don’t need the promise of paradise if I just adhere to the values that this or that religion or cult represents. They’re not wrong, many of them are pretty right and on the spot – but I don’t need them. Not now. Maybe later?
Is this the Tao?
My friend from before always encouraged me to read through the “Abolition of Man” by CS Lewis. I’m almost through. After 1 year. It’s what, 80 pages? Yeah… It’s not so much his argumentation in the three (sic!) chapters that is interesting – it’s the annex. What he calls the Tao, the universal law, where Lewis is seeking the common ground that most religions and spiritual practices have in common.
It’s the values.
In our discussions, I started to define values as the opposite of instinct. A value is preference of behavior that benefits the community. An instinct a preference of behavior that benefits the individual. Yes, there are nuances and overlapping, I know, not perfect, I’m no Wittgenstein (yet). But I hope you get the general idea.
My values are my spirituality.
“A rational mind dies with the body!” is what the speaker said today. As if it was something bad. Addendum: “The spiritual mind lives forever.” That’s when, again, I asked myself – why would I want to live forever? Why is dying so bad? Is the purpose of human existence really something more?
My friend is a devote Buddhist. I admire him for that. I don’t belittle anyone who dedicates their existence to spirituality, just to be clear. I just can’t find it for myself.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI, as well as read your own experience and point of view, I love to learn!
I've read a lot about Buddhism, Tao, all kinds of spiritual beliefs over the years. When you are younger, you are searching for meaning and trying to figure it all out. In hard times, maybe you didn't have enough understanding of the way of things to have a toolbox to navigate the high seas. It's also a fascinating study of the mind, of human behavior, of stories that define who we are.
But - and this might sound arrogant - maybe if you have a particular intelligence you don't need to put faith into something other than dirt and dung. Maybe we are closer to the truth of things as we aren't distracted by an afterlife or angels, gods and demons, heaven and hell and the layers in between. Maybe it's enough for us to know we are beholden to the same laws of entropy as the rest of the universe. Be kind, die. Why do we need more? It's a fucking miracle we are breathing, right here, right now.
Thanks for sounding arrogant, too 🙃
That sums it up for me. Well, from now. Before it was a lot of "Trying to figure out what 'kind' actually means" and stuff like that. Gathering the tools together for the toolbox you mention, basically.
Yep. It's less complicated than we think, and once you know, you can stop thinking about it.
You are who you are inside. When I was an atheist (until I was 30), there was something inside me that prevented me from harming another person. When I became an agnostic and began curiously studying the experiences of awakened souls, I understood why I can't lie to someone (for a serious reason) or harm them (for no reason). Something inside us is our unique soul.
I somehow knew that you'd comment 😅 That curiosity might be somewhere inside me, I just haven't found it yet. Everything seems "enough" at this point. I know that I'm doing right by my values, and though I love to listen to my friend talking about his practices, and I do put on the mantras he sends me - what harm can it do? - I'm not able to connect with it in a deeper way. And maybe you're right about the age part. Maybe there's still time that needs to pass, or something to happen. If fate or a spiritual entity exists, I'm pretty sure they'll make me notice when it's time to get into that - shoving me face first into the dung.
Great choice to put her in a Waldorf School. I did come across anthroposophy materials and read about them back when I was super interested in spirituality. Liked the way they structured their teachings in relation to the modern world and metaphorical/historical epochs, especially.
For me, the concept of doing good/bad will the soul purpose to earn favour or not be displeased by some higher creature up there doesn't sound right. People become puppets as a byproduct of that and hardly ever develop their own connection or discovery to the source of all sources.
That own connection is important. There are so many that just follow the rules blindly, without even understanding their purpose. It doesn't mean that the rules are bad, and they're quite necessary even, but they should be at least questioned and reviewed by those who follow them. Be it religion or nation or society or community.
That's right. I think some of these rules are not quite up to date with the changing times, perhaps, they were established on arbitrary situations that are not relevant anymore. Life is an exploration journey, for the most part. Self explore/discovery. That hardly ever comes from following "rules".