Confront thyself with thy neighbor.

While finding an online community is a very nice thing and very helpful in many ways, it can never replace the actual local community of neighbors. And it’s dangerous to mistake the two with each other.

On key structure of a community is a common ground of fundamental values that everyone shares. But that doesn't mean in any way that everybody agrees, on the contrary, the dissent is absolutely necessary to make a real community function and not turn into an echo chamber, which a lot of time is the result of algorithms in the digital world.

But not only algorithms.

We ourselves are looking for it, too. The validation of our viewpoints, of the ideas we have, the values we hold high and more than anything the opinions we have. It’s easy to blame the algos for our echo chambers, but if we’re really honest – it’s what we’re looking for.

And it’s absolutely toxic.

Every echo chamber is isolating and fragmenting society. There are many of them. They can be based on cultural things in common, like a Chinatown or other quarters of cities where immigrants settle. Or the opposite, the “ethnically clean” villages that neo-Nazis and other extremists establish. All those are trying to diminish the “otherness” factor and enhance the common values, creating a comfortable zone of feeling “right”.

But it’s wrong.

Those comfort zones numb us down. They make us think that we’re right, as there is no opposing view close, so we don’t even have to discuss it, which then creates a culture of consent, meaning that dissent is seen as bad and hence to be avoided, and in consequence suppressed, either through “We don’t talk about Bruno” or through self-censorship.

Just more isolation.

How many of you know their neighbors? The people in the town? Can you name 50 of them that are not your friends, what they’re like, a little bit about their life? That is community. Today, my good friend @socraticmthd, who I happily dissent with many times, said a phrase that stuck to me:

Maybe Jesus didn’t say “Love thy friends”, but “Love thy neighbors” for good reason. It’s easy to love your friends, but your neighbors?

Neighbors are usually the ones we clash with a lot. There are whole TV series about the worst neighbors in the world. So, his argument makes sense – if we’re able to love our neighbors, we’re pretty much on a good path. But to love them, we have to know them.

Fundamental Expectations.

I wrote about that in a post about my friends, who are very different from each other and I know them well enough to know their flaws, and yet I love them. The same goes for neighbors. In a real community, they’re the ones we have to rely on. Although they blast music after 9pm. Or make BBQ when we just put out the clean laundry to dry. Or are a church. Or don’t separate their garbage correctly. Or don’t trim their hedges.

Superficially.

That’s what the anger is about. But in order to believe in it as a community, we have to be able to rely on them when push comes to shove. We have to know that deep down, we share some values in common. My mom’s neighbors are far right. Not nazis yet, more the Viking-System thing. Every time I’m there, I go over to their place, bring a few beers and they have nice honey wine, made with my mom’s honey. My mom is green party/left. Yet, we go there, discuss, even politics. And it’s surprising – there is SO much common ground, even politically. The goal is the same, the best possible living situation for the most possible people, utilitarianism in a nutshell.

We part in how to get there.

There are many ways that lead to Rome. Mine doesn’t have to be the one. I confront myself with their opinions, values, ideas. I get to know them better, and though it’s not very comfortable, I know that it will eventually create a sense of community that no like-minded-bubble can bring me. Confronting myself with the other is what really supports community.

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What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI, as well as read your own experience and point of view, I love to learn!