The Weight of What is Seen and Unseen

I have reread this prompt multiple times. I keep coming back to it, not because I do not know what to talk about but because it becomes very emotional at some point and could trigger a breakdown. I realized later that maybe writing about it is the closure and the motivation I will need to declutter whatever I have held on to.

I do not know how to hoard things, I am always decluttering my space because I need space for new things. I love having new things clothes, shoes, bags, books, or even wigs, so I ensure to give out the old ones to make space for new ones. Well, one would wonder that since I do not hoard things, I do not have an object that I own but no longer use. Well, I hoped that was true though, but turns out I have this one gift that I own, which I no longer use but I can’t let go of it.

A few weeks back, I was cleaning my wardrobe and then I saw this cloth, just folded at a corner in the wardrobe, definitely just sitting there and occupying space. I haven’t worn this gown for some years now. It’s no longer my size because I put on some weight, so I have no use for it, but I can’t let it go because I hold an emotional attachment to this cloth. It was a birthday gift from my late cousin. So I am finding it difficult to let go of it. Even if it’s an outfit that I can no longer wear, keeping it around me, makes me feel like I still have a part of my cousin with me cause most times, I find it difficult to remember her face.

If I am to remove this cloth from my wardrobe today, there will be physical space for new clothes, and also I think it will make me feel lighter and I will have a sense of closure. Perhaps with time, I will be able to undertake this particular decluttering.

When it comes to an Invisible burden I am carrying that is occupying a mental space, I will say people-pleasing. Most times I am quick to tell someone who is a people pleaser to learn how to say No to people, but there’s me, still struggling with how to say No to people. I have been taught bitter lessons by people I have helped and that hasn’t stopped me from always saying Yes. I just want to ensure that I please this person even if it is at my own detriment. I just keep saying yes to avoid conflicts or making the next person feel bad.

By removing this invisible burden I will gain clarity about what I truly want. I will be able to do things without my own detriment. Removing this habit will make me feel a sense of relief, as I do not have to say yes to everything. No matter how tempting it is, letting go of this habit, will help me focus on things that are important to me and not the next person. Because no matter what you can never please people completely.

These things won’t be so easy to remove, but I am working on them, as this has been part of my resolution for the year. No matter the emotional attachment, I think it is time to let go and it is time to realize that some memories can be kept in the heart.

_{All images used are mine except otherwise stated}

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