RE: Sam's Hangout #73- “CHOOSING A PARTNER”

Good evening everyone....

Your girl is here again and I think it is only proper for me to add my voice to the many voices that have shared their views on this topic so far.

Without a doubt, everyone wants to be loved and have that forever after moment with their loved one but sadly, with the high rate of divorce these days, many singles are opting to remain as they are and not take that leap of faith into marriage.

Husband's betraying their wives and wives betraying their husbands is now a common phenomenon in this day and age. The sanctity if marriage is now almost a sham, with many married people wishing to become single again.

This has led to the feeling of fear in singles. "What if I make a mistake and marry a wrong partner?" This is gnawing question in many single hearts.

This feeling or fear of ending up with a wiring partner in marriage is called gamophobia and it is the root cause of why many are still single.

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I will speak from the standpoint of a woman because it seems like women have been dealt a shorter end stick in this life. The very creatures that ought to be cherished, loved, romanticized and valued is the very creatures that is being ridiculed, devalued and taken as play things.

This ought not be so and it is with this thought I mind that I air my view on behalf of all single ladies.

Every woman's need falls into one category and that category is SECURITY. This category branches out into seven parts but to stay on point, I'll share three points.

#1. Emotional security

No woman wants a mummy's boy, or an emotional ignoramus for a partner. I'm sure that I don't either. We women want a man who understands us, understands our signs and emotional needs without us having to say so much. Sometimes, when a woman nags hee man, it is a pointer to something. It takes an emotional intelligent man to understand that there's always a deeper meaning beyond the surface.

Women want to feel safe, loved and respected by their partner, with no trust issues. We also want a man who can relate with our feelings without calling us petty. So my first quality in a man is emotional intelligence which leads to emotional security.

#2. Financial security

It is without fear that I say this. "No woman wants to work". We want to live life in enjoyment. We want to be served breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed and still be able to ship for what we want without fear. When a man prices tht he is capable to provide at least 80% of a woman's financial needs, he will automatically garner her submission without him having to blink.

The reason many women work their bones till they tired is because many men have proven to be unreliable, lazy, selfish and promiscuous and far be it for a woman with a family to watch them starve. She will rise up like the proverbs 31 woman to stabilize her family.

So my second quality that I desire in a life partner, is his ability to secure me financially. He doesn't have to stupendously rich but the mere fact that he is willing and abke to cater to my needs is enough for me. With me by his side as a good thing, I'll help him rise to the top as a helpmeet.

#3. Physical security

This one is just as important as the first too and this is the quality of a man to protect and defend me as his wife, before his family, my family and even from his fists. It irks me when I see the way some men allow their wives to be humiliated by his family or even her family or when he uses his hands to hit his own wife.

They don't understand the principle of leaving father and mother to cleave to their wife. The man and his wife are now one both in body and in spirit. They are no longer two individuals. This a man who allows his wife to be subjected to abuse is abusing himself and telling the world how big of a fool he is.

Once a man is married, his wife becomes his primary family whom he must shower with love, care and support. Other family members become secondary.

So my third quality in a partner is the quality of physical protection. He should be able to tolerate and not for any reason raise his hands to me. Neither should that man be a tale bearer who is always picking up the phone to report our internal conflicts to his parents or mine. We are grown and civilized. Therefore I believe that if we want to, we can settle any conflict within us.

Let me pen down here.

I have stated my desired qualities in a life partner.

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Come and join the fun

@abdul-qudus @justfavour, @daverick, @goldenproject, hope I tried 😁