Bringing kids in on family struggles.

Back in the day, when I was still a young, happy and carefree child, I didn't know what it meant to struggle neither was I aware that my family faced any struggles. I woke up daily to have breakfast and as I stepped out to school, my lunch was already in my food flask. What about when I arrived home from school? The same thing again, I would meet my food kept in a food warmer plus some snacks or fruits. I lacked nothing that money could purchase.

Looking at it in retrospect, I realize now that my parents shielded me from whatever turbulence they were experiencing. I recall my dad always telling me to "never ask anyone for what I needed except him". If I needed anything at all, from school materials to snacks, I would wait for my dad to come home from work and simply ask him. Matthew 7 vs 7 was vey real for me at that time.

It wasn't until my third year in Junior secondary school that I began to notice some changes. My dad had lost his job and this created certain lacunas in our family lifestyle. "No one told me about it but I observed and was sensitive enough to understand that things were no longer the same". I aaked my dad about the family's situation and he was kind enough to let me in on what was happening and I think that it was from that day that I became baptized with the spirit of hardwork. I determined within myself to work hard to support my family. At age fifteen, I was already managing my mom's business with full assurance and confidence.

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I think that children are sensitive and no matter how parents try to hide their struggles from them, they are able to sniff it out. Especially the kids of this generation, they are quantum sensitive and can sense the family struggles faster than older generation kids. While I understand the diverse opinions held , I still believe that it is good for children to be carried along when the family is facing a challenge.

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At what age?

There is no perfect age to let the children know about the family struggles but there is an ge when they are able to grasp the situation and understand all that is going on. Children from twelve years and above can be carried along and told about the issues in the family. Relating the family struggles to the children should not be done in such a way that the child loses hope rather it should be stated just as it is but with a tinge of hope that the child can perceive it and not feel dejected.

Image of my daughter at three, gotten from Facebook

I m all in for letting children be children and for them to enjoy their childhood but parents should realize that there will come a time when that playful child will begin to have better understanding and if that child grew up in the dark, he or she might not be happy with it.

I recall a movie I watched earlier this year. In that movie, a woman committed suicide when she discovered that all the money kept in her care was gone. The money was huge and she was a retired teacher with no hope of getting money from anywhere. She had a daughter who was a cop but she hid her struggles from her daughter and decided to take the "easy way out".....suicide. What seemed to be the easy way out became a troublesome trail of cases here and there. At first, the daughter could not believe ger mom could commit suicide but after strong evidences were produced, she was shocked and confused. It took her a while for her mom's cause of death to sink in and I ( the viewer), could not help feeling pity for her.

Parents should be able to let their children in on what is going on with the family. I carry my fourteen year old daughter along on certain family struggles and she is so sweet to pray for me. She would say ,*"mom don't worry, I'll pray for you and this issue will be gone" 😁. This is her way of encouragement to me whenever I encounter a challenge. I'm super happy that I have a kind soul like her around me.

Thank you all for reading..shalom

This is my entry to the #hivenaijaweeklyprompts for week #74.

Images are mine.