Through pains, heartbreak, betrayal and death; I evolved!

I evolved through pains

Do we ever truly change, or do we simply grow into different versions of ourselves? Reflect on moments in your life when you felt a shift , whether personal, emotional, or spiritual.
Have your core values or beliefs ever altered, or do they remain constant no matter the circumstances?

Change they say is constant and in as much as so many people are resistant to change and knowing that men rarely change, I had been a candidate of true change. I can say from my personal experience that indeed people truely change while many may just grow into different versions of themselves but I’d say that the impact of change of personalities through facing different life challenges is more impactful for a true change.

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Growing up I’d say that I was this kind of person who believes in saying the truth and not caring whose ox is gored. The issue is not in saying the truth but in the mannerisms with which the truth is said. I’d brag about being a straight forward person who is not afraid of anyone and would always call a spade a spade.

Some of my senior colleagues said I had audacity and one of my Mentors painted the audacity as something negative. Added to this, you can win me in an argument. Not like I argue a lot though but if you ever match me in an argument, never expect to win cos you would never win. It’s either you loose the argument or you loose cos I would bring out one thousand and one reasons why you are wrong. My friends used to tell me that I should have studied law. That I would have done well been a lawyer because of my arguing capacity.

Alongside these, I was kinda short tempered and I stammered. Hence whenever I get angry, a whole engine of stuttering is turned on. I would get so pissed off and because I find it difficult to communicate my pain, this only worsened the matter. Added to this, I had a kinda somewhat critical personality. You know that holier than thou attitude and etc.

It was kinda a lot couple with the fact that i rarely smiled. Well, I do smile and play a lot when am around the people who I am free with but outsiders rather thought me to be mean because of the lack of smiles. I inherited my dad non smiling face. There’s a saying that there’s no art to know the mind’s construction on the face. In my mind am free and easy going but the face says otherwise. All these contributed to a complex personality whom needed a change. A breaking that would cause a real change.

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The breaking came in a rather unexpected way, it came as a mixture of pain, heart break, betrayal and the death of a loved one. All happened at the same time. This singular experience turned my life 360 degree. I was so broken that I felt I was going to die.

When I came out of that experience, I came out a new man. The people who knew me before couldn’t believe it was the same me. The arguments seized. Now I don’t even have strength to argue again. I’d rather let go and let the other person win. The once none smiling face now smiles and greets freely. No more judging cos I’ve seen worse. Am way softer and freer now. So many people kept telling me that you are now sweet. No more rashness. And some who felt I was scary attests to my free personality when they come close to me.

That terrible experience was the shift my spirit, emotions and mentality needed. So many people would have gone through this experience and come out bitter and worse but I evolved for good through pains. My beliefs and core values have evolved for good over time. It’s been a journey that gets better with time because as long as we are humans, change is always constant and it’s better when we change truly for good.

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