Double dating : my opinion on availability of options
Hmmm... Double dating! A very spicy but yet controversial topic.
You know when they say everything has a good and a bad side? Well double dating is something that quite explains this phrase. A lot of people have this mentality of thinking the worst when it comes to double dating but have given yourself and your mind to just give a free thought to the fact that maybe, just maybe it could just be an act of keeping open options. Remember, you're single till a ring is placed on it!
Before I further, let's get an insight on what dating and double dating is.
What is dating?
It is a period when two people spend time together socially with the intention of evaluating their romantic compatibility. Which usually involves activities like going out to dinner,
watching movies, or engaging in shared hobbies.
What is double dating?
Double dating is when you are dating more than one lady or guy. It is something that happens with both sex.
Now, going from the above given definitions, we can see that dating is simply a period when two people spend time together trying to know if they are compatible. So, if I spend two years trying to know if I'm compatible with someone, and all these time, along the line I notice we might not necessarily be compatible but I still want to try, and I see someone who comes along and he shows interest and I decide to keep him as an option and I begin to get to know him better, we begin to date and go out on different dates. Now I have two men in my life thereby giving myself options and a room for me to critically examine my compatibility and with whom I have more in common with. This doesn't make me a bad person or makes it wrong. The place where I feel double dating becomes a problem is when we take it out of context and begin to do what goes beyond getting to know each other and put sexual intimacy into the whole process. Now this is where our generation and young ones get it wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong in giving yourself the luxury of choice. Cause we all know that it's only when you have options you can pick what works best for you and I feel like it matters in the aspect of relationships too, cause even our parents pray we all make right choices in life partners and we need options to do this.
Imagine I date someone for about seven years(it happens) and during this period he was the only one in my life as a love interest and all of a sudden we end things, and I'm probably 35 years old. Don't you think it would have been better on my side as a lady if I had someone else I was seeing which would make the heartbreak less on me and at least in less than two years or so I still have the option of getting married instead of using sometime to sulk and nurse my heartbreak and then go back into the market /dating world to compete with young girls and do the whole dating journey of years again. I think honestly that double dating isn't as bad as we think it is. It's just simply keeping your options open and having a fall back option once the unexpected but possibility happens.
Thanks for reading and P. S I'm not saying I am double dating ooo,
I just feel it's not so bad after all.
Well, I get the point you're trying to make although I have a contrary opinion but let's keep it for another day😃
Thank you for sharing this with us @autaemmanuella
Lol. And I would really love to hear/read about your opinion too. I'm sure it'll be enlightening. Thank you for reading.
Smiles....it's a whole lot gurl😩🤧
Buh I think one should be able to know his or her stand in a relationship.
When you feel things are not going to work out, I feel the best way out of it is to make your intention clear instead of seeing someone in your partners absence,(imagine if your partner is also trying hard to see the relationship work out buh things seems difficult)
How would you imagine his feelings after finding out all effort puts in was in vein...
In as much as no one knows tomorrow, if you're being intentional about a relationship, and your partner doesn't feel same, I advice you open up and tell your intention to know what his takes is in the relationship so you can know your stand
Imagine, going out with someone else and it still didn't work out, will you continue like that till you find the right person?
I understand everything is kinda confusing and complicated,
I also understand your fear, in this aspect, everyone is just scared of being broken and starting all over again buh I pray we don't end up with people who will make our efforts wasted and not valued
Thanks for sharing this girl 🙏♥️
Amen sister. But then again what if he also has options and is also keeping his cards open?
May God help us shaaa... Thanks for your input, I really appreciate.
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Wow! I've been reading disagreeing views on the subject not until this post. It kind of caught my attention to the very end. You did a very good write up and I get your point.
However, there might be contrasting view to it. If you'll like me to share...🙂
Hello, thanks for reading and I'm glad I could get your attention. Of course I'd love for you to share your view please.
Hello @autaemmanuella. Sorry for not replying this since...
Okay, I like the fact your post ended with you affirming you're not double dating. Guess you see something wrong in there you had to make it clear that you aren't practicing that.
I understand well with the points you've made and the fears that lead to that. However, I consider double dating can't be the remedy. For what you're afraid can happen when you commit to a single relationship, a double portion of it is what you can get in double dating. You can see this in the positive and negative sense.
The fear of heart break and years wasted cannot be helped by double dating. Shall one continue to double date all their life till they meet the right one? I assure you they'll get tired at a point. And when you speak of having an option to fall back to, do you really think another man will be happy and willing to continue when he finds out he's a second choice? Nahh I don't think so. So a lady as well. No one will be happy to, except her or she doesn't really love the other person.
When you feel the guy is wasting time and not showing signs of positive advancement, the best thing to do is exit that relationship. Double dating can't be a remedy. It has gone ahead to ruin people even in their marriage, because it's a lifestyle already.
And what if he's keeping options? Yeah, I guess that question. The misconception about this is no one does single relationship. Sadly, that's not true. In all, we have to mainly consider the effect of this on us rather, cos surely there's an effect.
Thank you 🙂
Thank you very much for stopping by and dropping a comment. It's not like I'm supporting it or something like that, I was just trying to put it out that it's not entirely bad, but I get your point tho. Thanks again
Ohh okay, I get.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts and for sharing yours too.