Greetings Hivers, welcome to the Weekly ASEAN Hive "Hot Goss", where I @justinparke dig up false ASEAN Hive rumors and spread even more, but all in satirical fun and support of Southeast Asian content on Hive.

♨️ WEEKLY ASEAN HIVE "HOT GOSS" #88 🤫

🤖 Quadriplegic Cyborgs, Swamp-o-thons, & Flexin' In The Park 🏋️‍♀️

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     We AMPUTEE CYBORGS are taking over Malaysia, and nobody knows when this threat will end. As you can see in the photo, despite a lack of arms or legs, these cyborgs represent a major threat, and must be held down by a human while anti-cyborg personnel deactivate the face lazers.

     This is absolutely terrifying to me, but Malaysia seems to be handling the threat well. More and more two-man teams are being trained to destroy and/or deactivate this threat from unknown sources. Perhaps the computers are becoming sentient, scary times we are living in.

---

     The annual Philippines SWAMP-O-THON took place last weekend, and it's unknown how many lives were lost in this very dangerous foot race. As you can see, the concept is simple, a marathon, except in a swamp full of quicksand patches.

     Last year's winner was a man that weighed only 20 kilograms and possessed feet the size of snowshoes, understandable to see why he won. I hope our ASEAN Hiver was one of the survivors of this race.

---

     FLEXIN' IN THE PARK is a new local past-time in Sarawak, and it's as simple as it sounds. Partakers of this trend basically just chill in park and try to look as buff as possible when pedestrians stroll by.

     The one and only Janice is seen here intimidating passers-by as she works on her biceps. What would you do if you were casually walking through a peaceful park and you suddenly encountered a completely shredded threat to the general public?

Until Next Time ASEAN Hivers....

     Please remember this curation is merely fictional satire, so don't take anything I write too seriously.

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