Greetings Hivers, welcome to the Weekly ASEAN Hive "Hot Goss", where I @justinparke dig up false ASEAN Hive rumors and spread even more, but all in satirical fun and support of Southeast Asian content on Hive.

♨️ WEEKLY ASEAN HIVE "HOT GOSS" #81 🤫

🔫 Banana Guns, Escape Artists, & Giant Corn 🌽

^{August 15th, 2023
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     BANANA GUNS are being used by street robbers in the Philippines to rob unsuspecting pedestrians. Most of the robberies have been happened at night, I assume because the guns are easily identified as fruit during daylight hours.

     However, after the sun goes down, these guns possess a very intimidating silhouette, and when poked into you from behind, there is no way to know these are non-lethal weapons. Rumor has it a few chef engineers have rigged these banana guns to fire slugs, but there is always a 50% chance of pre-detonation, aka banana smoothies.

---

     One of very own ASEAN Hivers has successfully ESCAPED TO JAPAN, and found a very nice place to settle and make a new life. Space seems a bit limited compared to Thailand, a place already a wee bit crowded, but this gentleman is adapting.

     There are rumors circulating that he has already befriended several robots and learned how to walk in hardwood sandals. This is a lightning fast adaptation to one of the strangest places in the world, so bravo to this Thai Hiver.

---

     Forget English grammar for a moment and allow me to say this is the MOST GIANT-EST CORN EVER, apparently in the Philippines. I am from Indiana in the USA, the land of corn, and happen to be from a popcorn farm myself, but we have nothing like this where I live.

     This giant corn grows directly out of the ground pre-shucked and ready to eat, a major advancement in corn tech. Indiana has already sent several spies to the Philippines to try and steal the tech behind this new method of farming and/or genetics. Supposedly it's safe to eat, but by the looks of those cobs I'd be a little hesitant.

Until Next Time ASEAN Hivers....

     Please remember this curation is merely fictional satire, so don't take anything I write too seriously.

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