Cinema seats with my brood - woodworking

Maybe you saw my post about making a tree house-type structure in my friend's garden but if not here is the link. And a nice picture.

Due to some calculation silliness on my part I had ordered too much wood and so was left with the pile in the first image and it was now high time that I turned it into something. After some back and forth with my friend Lisa, we thought creating an open-air cinema in the garden would be cool. She already had a projector and screen and somewhere to place it, but lacked much-needed seating.

This time I wouldn't be working alone. I would be enlisting the help of Lisa's chickens or, at least that is what they decided. They were running wild around the garden and even though there was loads of space they seemed to be attracted to me. They were rescued chickens that looked like they had had a hard life and were, with Lisa's help on the road to recovery.

This was the ring leader, Rosy. She didn't say much but she meant business. Straight in, she was in quickly at the design phase. I don't like designing and prefer to make things up as I go along but Rosie clucked 'We need a plan' One of the few times she talked so, I quickly drew a schematic. (It is not understandable in this image but rest assured it was a masterpiece) With this plan, we could divide and conquer. Chicken and man working in harmony.

The brood would cut the wood to size and I would screw it all together.

It worked better this way, I am obviously terrible at measurements and the chickens lacked the opposable thumbs to operate the screwdriver. Don't ask me how they cut the wood but I could hear a lot of pecking.

We started with cross-sections of the seating. These were better made on a flat surface. The team came from their cutting area to inspect. They seemed happy with my screwing and happier still that I wasn't screwing up.

By the end of the first day, we had made them all. Rosy puffed her remaining plumage in approval.

On the second day, we cleared an area of the overgrown garden and levelled a space for the structure. I will take the most credit for this using my slash hook and saw. My helpers seemed more interested in the worms I unearthed. Just sayin'.

Next, we needed to carry everything into place. Not so easy when you don't have arms but my girls shouldered them back down the end of the garden.

It was then that I saw how they were cutting the wood. They had a compound mitre saw, the cheats and these serious-looking ladies were in charge. Gertrude and Plumella. They would hold the wood in place while the fattest chicken, Flumpy, would jump up and down on the handle while pressing the button.

It all seemed very dangerous. Honestly, many of their last remaining feathers were lost in the process. I said nothing and let them do it their way. There is something about a chicken stare that shows you who is boss.

The next job was to cut the crossbeams that would hold the cross sections together and build the structure. Some of the staff rested while I figured this out.

Then they sprang into action, milling around taking measurements and selecting the correct pieces of wood.

Things started to come together pretty fast. Many hands make lite work. Many wings make you fly through it.

Rosy kept a watch on my measurements and angles. It was good to have a second set of eyes, even little beady ones.

She inspected everything I did and very rudely, I must say, defecated on things that didn't meet her approval. These beams were defiantly not up to scratch.

Even when the other chickens went home to roost she would nitpick every screw and joint.

Finally, after a few days, our work was done. My team did a cleanup of all the offcuts and I could leave them to do the final landscaping around the seats. A bit of gravel was to be brought in after I left and the ground neatened up.

I left them to it and moved on to the next job. They had everything in hand or should I say wing.

The End

Take a bow ladies. Nice working with you. What the hell was that all about?