Oƞ tɦe bɾiƞƙ. || MEMOIR MONDAY [WEEK 51]
Oᑎ Tᕼᕮ ᗷᖇIᑎK
𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑛. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑑, ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑦 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑖𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑠, 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑙𝑦 𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑖𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑚𝑖𝑥𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑤𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑜𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑡𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠.
𝐼𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑒𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑠. 𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑦; 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑎 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑, ‘𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑜. 𝑊𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒.’ 𝐵𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛, 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒: 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑡𝑠, 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑦𝑚𝑏𝑜𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒.
𝑀𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑦. 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑡, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑝𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑦 𝐼 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑣𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡. ‘𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦,’ 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑. ‘𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛,’ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑑. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟? 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑟 𝑠𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑑?
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Leaving behind…
𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛, 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒, 𝑏𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑎 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑚: ‘𝐺𝑜 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦.’ 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒. 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑝𝑢𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, ℎ𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟, 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑡. 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛.
𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒. 𝐼𝑓 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡, 𝐼 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑛, 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑝ℎ𝑒𝑤𝑠 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝑃𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑑𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑑… 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦, 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑤𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑢𝑝 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑝 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒.
𝐴𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙. 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑚. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑚𝑚𝑎. 𝐼𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠, 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒: 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒.
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New life…
𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝐼 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑎 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝐼 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑏𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑘, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑. 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑜𝑛 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑛𝑐ℎ 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑘𝑦. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝐼 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑝𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒. 𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑎𝑓𝑒, 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛, 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑠, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑔𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠.
𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠, 𝐼 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑥𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡, 𝐼 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑡.
𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑦, 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠, 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑛, 𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑢𝑡𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒, 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟. 𝑌𝑒𝑡 𝐼 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑙𝑦. 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛.
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Light at the end of the tunnel…
𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑑𝑎 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦. 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑠 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑, 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒, 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑠𝑝𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡. 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑏 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑔𝑢𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠, 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐼 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛.
𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑎 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑟 𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒. 𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚, 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑡ℎ 𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑠.
𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑘, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑒𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑙𝑦, 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒. 𝐴 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡, 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒.
This is a weekly suggestion from our friend @ericvancewalton and his #memoirmonday. If you want to participate, don't think twice, come and join us…
𝕄𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕚𝕣 𝕄𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕪 #𝟝𝟙
Cover page of the call for proposals
CREDITS:
Images: the images are my property.
CoolText
Dedicɑted to ɑll those poets who contɾibute, dɑγ bγ dɑγ, to mɑke ouɾ plɑnet ɑ betteɾ woɾld.
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That was a huge choice. You have to do what you feels right.
Big decisions are made with maturity; when we are young, our judgement is limited and we get carried away by sentimentality.
It's always hard to decide but Sometimes we need to go out of our comfort zone to find real purpose.😐.
The right decisions are a reflection of maturity through accumulated experience and learning. As a young person, our successes are limited unless there is a person behind us who has been able to guide and advise us wisely. Our comfort zone is probably a cell with all the comforts.