Blue Monday - and my fight with depression
Hi,
yesterday we had the Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. The Blue Monday, started as a marketing campaign, from Sky Travel. It is actual a pseudoscience thematic, as is using some arbitrary variables, without the measuring values. Also, winter is not the season with the most suicides, spring is taking the spot, contrary to popular beliefs, with April leading the way.
Well, nevertheless, depression as a whole is a major killer. It is long term illness, mostly hidden and seldom seen.
In the past, I had two major depressions, one 11 years ago, when my back to then girlfriend left me, after we planned to move together, build a house and a lot of other stuff that you do as a couple. Everyone knew, only me not. I moved at that time to another country, she did not want to come and did not want to live in the house I had back then. I turned to a self-destructive behaviour, going every night to parties, sleeping a lot around and not taking care of my body. Luckily, at that time I was in the best shape of my life, with 6-packs sticking out.
The second episode was 6-7 years ago, when I did a bad investment, I got laid off by the company that I worked for, with half of the colleagues, just because a moron of a CEO wanted to maintain his seat. I played pro-poker at that time, but have quitted it, even if the returns have been amazing. I did not have any more joy in it. It was the time that I've joined the blockchain and the time when my son was born. The new company that hired me was a grind to the bone job, which did not make the situation easier. I could not enjoy the first 2 years of my kid's life, due to the depression. My wife was very supportive, she is also finished the psychology university with focus on special needs kids, so she knew somehow how she could handle it. She was my rescue. It took 5 years to get out of this mind prison which left scars, as I've aged a lot, gained some weight and white hair. Like said above, got lucky to have been into sports whole my life and have good genes. That was my main physical rescue.
The second time, I knew somehow I'm affected, and tried to push myself in silence. I'm not into drugs, think that drugs are for weak people, that can't handle their life, and also not into being drunk. Even if these two symptoms are a call for help. Most of the time, the person affected by it, does not fill it. It just consumes the soul from the inside, and the ones around do not notice it. There are small subtle signs, like talking less, or talking about mundane crap, that does not matter. Initiative is mostly lost, and the person goes with the flow.
Why I'm writing about this? Well, now I can, two years after the last phase. I'm aware how draining it was, and the tool it took. I'm not writing this to get empathy, just on the other hand, if you notice that you are impacted, contact me, to talk about it. You can find me easily in discord, where we can have a decent chat. I had the chance to have the beautiful woman next to me, that gave me all her love and gave me a purpose.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
Great to see you being able to speak about it and I think all of us faced obstacles in our lives. We all have chosen different paths out of it, but what is important is not to lose ourselves in the process. And in the end we can only become stronger through such harsh experiences. Wish you all the best!
Thank you! Life is pretty but tough sometimes. I might come to Iasi anytime soon. Need to check if it is in March or February.
Hmmm what do I say. You have been through a lot but the good thing perhaps like a spring you come back stronger.
Yes, a scar gives mostly power. Thank you.
Hello, @alexvan
In advance, I have to thank your share and sincerity... It is never easy to talk about mental issues, even now that on the XXI century, and knowing that there is nothing "wrong" about having a mental challenge, society and our pairs, look at that issue has a "soft point". Since my father's death, I'm not dealing with life challenges has clear has I wanted to. Can't say that I have negative and self-prejudice thoughts, but some days, the joy of live is much hard to find in the surrounding reality. I can thank the many friends that surround me, and that even when I don't say a word (like you said, the silence sometimes is the perfect trigger for disaster and isolation), they find a way to make feel better.
Thank you so much for sharing such personal things with all of us
Big Hug
@xrayman, thank you. Please take care of you, as such a traumatic event can trigger things we are not aware of. In Amsterdam, I was fine, was fine for 6 months at that time, else maybe I would not join.
It is normal to have ups and downs, we are not machines, but souls. If you feel that you have more downs than ups, surround yourself with people that care about you. Enjoy the Portuguese sun, it is a miracle, together with the ocean.
If you need to talk in private, hit me up on discord, or TG.
Obrigado.
Thank you so much for the precious advises, and warm words, my friend! Believe me, those words are priceless to me. Thank you for your availability 🥹
It is always a fight, and it will be, but the best moment to take another decision is right now. Continuously improving every day, one day at a time.
Yes, this is the key, get out, take of self and family, and baby steps!
An example of marketing at it's finest. We are all different and there is no scientific proof of any one date for everyone hehe
That being said it is great that you are in a place where you can talk about your bouts of depression.
It affects many more people than we can imagine.
Your wife sounds a star, wishing you all a wonderful and Happy New Year!
My wife is gorgeous! I don't know what she sees in me (joking). Sadly, the fast pace society, shallow relationships, lead to this.
Its great that you put out your experience, I cant say I know what you mean because I think we all go through episodes in different ways, past three years I have been changing my life and hit rock bottom, use to abuse a couple of things in life and was self auto destroying, now days I also look back and still some times feel bad for all the time that I lost but life goes on and at least I have set goals for the next 10 years that keeps me motivated, putting the word of the experience we go through does help someone at some point, we never know who ends up reading, very helpful your post, keep it going ✌️
Never feel bad for the past, as you can't turn back time. Make the best out of what is left. Remember, if you are rock bottom, and are not dead, the only way is up. I really know how it feels.
There things I embrace them and Im proud of my fuckups but there are others that Im still going to need some more time to get over them so I can be on the same level of peace with myself, just takes time ✌️
Drugs are okay
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