RE: Life Unfolds (Thoughts on this 5th Decade of Life)
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Well, young man--yes to me you are a young man :)
You will not become what you do not want to be. The next part of your life there will be people who want to define you, based on their expectations. Don't let them.
Believe me, that spark of joy, of spontaneity, the font of unbounded imagination is yours if you choose to keep it.
When I walk at night with my daughter and her dog I stop sometimes, suddenly, and rejoice at the wonder of the sky.
Those things you treasure in yourself will go, only if you let them go.
The hardest part about the next phase of your life is loss, loss of others mostly. That is the inevitable part of life we look away from as much as possible.
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Thank you very much, @topcomment and @friendlymoose!
"You will not become what you do not want to be. The next part of your life there will be people who want to define you, based on their expectations. Don't let them."
Wiser words were never uttered. We truly are the masters of our own destinies. It's just such a strange thing to see members of my own generation (X) slip into the same habits and roles of members of the previous generations. For some reason I thought our generation would be different. I'm seeing so many losing their spark and sense of wonder.
It's great to hear you've managed to keep your spark. There's such power in that and it gives a person a lot of resilience. My Mom, more than anyone, taught me to not only appreciate the "little things" but be in a kind of awe of them — sunrises/sunsets, wildlife, beautiful landscapes, etc. I can't imagine how dull life would be without having that kind of appreciation.
You're right, I've experienced quite a bit of loss since 2020. I imagine, soon enough, I'll have more friends, relatives, and acquaintances on the other side of the veil than this one.
If you don't mind my asking, what are some of your favorite parts about getting older?
There are no favorite parts :)) Life is very hard. Not my life, but life in general. There is so much tragedy and suffering we cannot alter. While that makes me sad, it also makes me more compassionate. I am grateful for the way compassion has grown in me, the way I see myself in other people--everywhere, anywhere.
And I feel more love, more love for animals, for people, for my family, and yes for the night sky. I think that may be because other concerns--earning money, raising children, being healthy--have fallen away. There is room now, for more.
Finally, fear. I lived in fear for much of my life--a matter of conditioning and temperament, probably. That's gone. I care for the well-being of my family. Beyond that, what do I have to worry about? What can anyone take from me?
So, while this may sound like a depressing view, it's not. I wish I had these capacities, this calmness earlier in my life. I would have made many, many less mistakes.
Enjoy your life, every day of it, in every way you can.
That's all very valuable advice, thank you! I think I'm experiencing the first phases of the priority shift you're describing and trying to adjust to them. I'm noticing this decade of life very much involves acceptance of the things you can't change.
Enjoy your life, every day of it, in every way you can.
I really feel this now, deep inside my soul. It's the first thought I have when I close my eyes at night and, often, the first thing I think about when my feet hit the floor in the morning.
Have you heard this song?
😇😄