Why I can’t love
The person in question i have affection for this person just the same way I have affection for my family.
Let me tell you about "Lumia" (the name has been changed for privacy reasons)
Let me tell you about a man who was confident enough to be born into a dying world in the year 97, a man who is kind and selfless, I remember when he told me he was hungry and was about to spend his last cash on him but he gave the money to someone who needed it without knowing when or where his next meal would come from, I guess he had faith that he would survive which he eventually did but the point is that's a person who didn't care about his own interest but instead put someone else needs before his.
Let me tell you about a man brave enough to not care about what people think and does whatever he pleases the only person he holds himself accountable to is God. I envy his nonchalant attitude towards life, he takes nothing too serious not even his problems. He doesn't like talking much but when he does he's either teaching you something or giving you advice on a matter that would leave you amazed. He's unapologetical about what he says and does, he goes silent when he's angry and becomes uninterested in anything at that moment.
Let me tell you about Lumia, he is a narcissist, but i like that about him, because it's a contrast to his kind and selfless nature that he can go out of his way to do the opposite of his true nature.
Let me tell you about Lumia, he's boring yet he enjoys himself he finds satisfaction in his own company and doesn't like people being in his space but when he lets you come close and spend quality time with him the experience is always exciting, he's an introverted outsider he appeals to my admiration. I can't love anyone other than God but you see with Lumia I can try.