She Had To Go #271
One thing I absolutely love and hate at the same time about me is how I fight for people I want. Girl, I wish I was fighting for the things I want rather. I mean the dreams, the goals and aspirations. You know? All the cool stuff a woman can get to achieve in life, not people.
I love that I can fight for the people I want in my life but I also hate it because it makes it hard for me to realize when I have to let go of those people. Most of my friends, actually who am I deceiving? My only friends in this world are just two people. I’ve known one since I was 6 and the other from my Uni days.( I absolutely love my online friends but I’m just talking about people I get to physically hangout with)
So I’m sure you are wondering what exactly I’m getting to. Hold on. Be there in a minute. Each year, either at the very end or early beginning, there’s this ritual I do. It’s basically allowing old friends back into my life. You know how sometimes you just want this person in your life knowing how bad everything could go wrong but you still do it because you just want to give your friendship another chance? (You don’t know? Come on, am I the only one who makes bad decisions in here?)
I do this every year. I text people, old friends. I reach out to them to catch up and see how we can actually be good people to each other in the future but it never works out. Sometimes, it even becomes chaotic the more I try. I’ve even had someone give me her terms and conditions for the friendship. Like if you want to us to be friends again, we’re going to do it like this and that. Tell you what. I was okay with all that until I wasn’t.
It took me years to realize that it was okay to have that spirit of fighting for people. But I didn’t have to though. It’s sometimes way better to not have certain people in your life. It’s not just better, it’s cooler, it’s more peaceful, and it gives you the opportunity to actually channel your energy into more productive things.
So in 2026, I let that woman go. I let that part of me always fighting so hard to bring people back into my life go. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even wish most people a happy new year because I know they were expecting me to “happy new year” them back into my life. But not anymore. It’s exhausting and I’m done.
I’m glad I didn’t learn this the hard way. I just got tired of the cycle. Friendship ends, you ghost each other for months, pick up from wherever you ended at the end or beginning of the year and then cycle begins. Meh. Then it’s better we stay as acquaintances and support each other from afar or maybe not. We can just exist in our personal spaces doing our own things with different people and that’s totally cool.
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I understand you, my friend... breaking out of that cycle of always rescuing others is exhausting, but what a relief it feels when you finally decide to prioritize your own peace of mind. Bravo for choosing yourself first! Here's to less drama and more goals achieved, queen!
Absolutely! Here’s to a very peaceful year!!!🥰
Thank you
Learning to finally let go of what has been draining you in relation to certain people, as you describe, is important. As you say, it makes you feel calmer and gives you the opportunity to direct your energy towards more productive things. Have a lovely night,
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Yes, it’s always important to be directing our energies towards the right things. Thank you.
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Thank you
Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I know experiencing this cycle can be frustrating, especially for someone like you who loves to keep long-lasting friendships. To many times, I've been a victim of this same cycle, and it took me pain and courage to finally release these people from my life.
So seeing you release that woman you were makes me happy because I understand the boldness you've had to summon to do this. Fighting too much for people who don't do the same to keep the friendship isn't all worth it. It's more rewarding to focus your energy and time on the two friends who have stuck to your side all these years. Hugs, and I hope you meet better friends in the future.🥰
I’m sorry you had to do this the hard way.
It’s definitely not worth it at all.
Thank you.
My dear, not everybody is for you even if they once felt like yours. I'm glad you have let go the burden that comes with having to do the reconnection all the time. Go girl! 🥰
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Yes, true. Not everyone really is for me.
Thank you.
Sometimes their are some toxic friendship that are just draining that even your mental peace might be affected, if not properly put in place.
On the other hand, there are some wholesome, healthy, and beautiful friendships that has stronger bond, stronger than even the family bond, they stick with you despite any challenges and trials. They turn sad days into moments of happiness. They are pure in heart, give genuine advice without prejudice or envy. They rejoice sincerely with you when you get a promotion or any other happy moments, they share your failures and stay with you making sure you feel better.
I like your decision, it's best to talk to each friend from a distance since the relationship is not productive.
May God help us all.
Wow, Beautifully said✨
Thank you
You're welcome
I've been there; not so much in overtly traded friendships, but in ones where it felt like I was putting far more of my energy and life into them than I was getting back. Where the lack of reciprocity felt heavy. You know, relationships go through seasons. Sometimes our friends need us a little more than we need them, and vice versa. But unless, for the most part, the relationship is reciprocal, it's time to acknowledge that it no longer feeds your soul and could be eroding your sense of peace or holding you in stasis. Well done for letting go of the person inside of you who was being run roughshod over, pandering to others who did not appreciate your friendship and grace. You are right, that sometimes we need to become a little selfish, because our wellbeing matters too 💗
I totally agree that relationships go through seasons and I also agree that it’s fine to just let it go when it no longer feeds your soul. Thank you, Sam✨.