My Approach To Adversity | LOH #232

It felt like a movie back then, in 2023, when I received my first rejection on something I had been dreaming of for years. After checking my email and seeing nothing, I thought of all the possibilities. “Oh, maybe they missed my email, or it wasn’t time for me to be contacted.” Don’t mind me; I knew very well that not seeing an email meant I didn’t get in because we were informed from the very beginning.

As each day passed, it only got worse. I remember how I used to sit by my email refreshing for hours, and each click turned into frustration. And let me tell you this: I’m probably the most optimistic person you’d ever meet, but after drowning in frustration, I started doubting myself in all the unpleasant ways.

Eventually that self-doubt turned into neglecting that dream of mine for a whole year. I threw it away and even forgot about it. And that’s what resistance does. If you ask me about resistance, it is one of the most underrated thieves ever. It steals reality from you, making you not see things as they are, and then goes ahead to steal every other thing that makes you smile. And the grand finale? Steals your time.

I don’t know what would have happened if I had gone ahead to pursue that dream the following year, and I’ll never know because I didn’t try, and that’s all because I was still resisting.

Thankfully, a freebie that came with my growth as a person was maturity, and I am so grateful for that. I accepted the situation, worked harder, tried two years later and here I am achieving that dream.

Making peace with hard times in life helps me to first heal and restore my mental health. If there’s anything I have to come to learn, it’s the important role mental health plays in our lives and how long our whole system takes to heal from challenges. So the earlier I start the journey, the better.

From there, I move to asking certain questions like, “What next?” What can I do differently this time? What did I even do to get into that last challenge? How can I avoid it?” And all these questions only come to mind because I’m not in distress and there are no racing thoughts, which all boils down to the fact that I accepted the situation and I’m ready to deal with it head-on.

One of the overwhelming things we face as adults is reality, be it the good or the bad. And when the bad happens, it’s just so unfortunate that the world never stops for us to deal with it. So I have to come to understand that it’s up to me to throw tantrums, be in denial, and resist the situation all I want OR just accept it and work on it. And from my experience, I’ll always and forever choose the latter.