Mental Decluttering: what I stopped doing to become happier.

Hi, fellow Minimalist, this is my first time posting on in this community. I read all what this community is about and the more I read the more I realize that, I am already living the minimalist life. I don't really I have much; small collection of clothing, small collection of everyday items, and even smaller group of friends but I still feel heavy like I have been holding on to a lot of things and I found out that minimalism isn't just about going small or downsizing or even decluttering the physical stuff. We tend to overlook the clutter we carry everyday in our minds and habits. Sometimes the reason we feel stuck and stuffed is because we still carry around heavy feelings, emotions, and habits that makes life a little bit uncomfortable. These are things I have stopped doing/ working on to live more freely and happily.

One on the list would be external validation, I have always felt the need to look around, for people to applaud, for people to praise me, like my whole life was a performance. I always wanted to be that good girl that would be used as a good example. People need to notice before I can think that I was doing anything valuable. I have always lived my life for other to make sure my mom was proud, it was never about if I wanted it or if I like it, it was more about who was happy if I did. But now I realize that it's draining to constantly think about what other people think about you or what ever you are doing. I felt like I was not even living my own life but the life others wanted me to live.

The next would be comparing myself to other. If there's anything that could make you unhappy and miserable it comparison. I remember my mom would say " don't you see precious she very hardworking, she takes care of all the chores in the house", once she make that statement I feel like I have failed and I hated hearing it so much but I'll do all the chores even when I'm tired just to make my mother happy. I'd compare my beginnings to someone else's end story and end up feeling like I'm not doing enough. Now I still do this sometimes but anytime I catch myself, I quickly check myself and tell myself that I am on my own time and not in competition with anyone. Everyone is on a different track and it's not a race, it's more like a journey.

Another one would be constantly putting myself down and allowing others to make me feel less than I am. Sometimes I invalidate my achievements, my progress, and count them as nothing. I doubt myself and capabilities, tell myself I can't, I am not all that. I let other make me feel threatened and inferior because none of anything I have done is worth it if no one is proud. I thought I was being humble, I didn't want to come off as proud. But I realized that I can talk and feel good about my achievements with our coming off as arrogant. Yes! I am definitely all that, I am definitely good enough.

Also stressing about situations I have no control over; like the future, or the past, or people's reactions. I would continuously stress and overthink about stuff that was not in my power to change, like I would obsess over them and wish a billion times that I could them and have some sort of control. I realize that stressing over what you can't control is a punishment, it's like putting yourself in a prison. Now I understand that having one hand on the future and one on the past will make me lose out on my present.

Sometimes we also have to declutter our minds rather than our physical environment, most of us carry so much mental baggage that we find it very hard to function. Sometimes we don't even notice how these habits are slowly chipping away at us. Ever since I tried to let go and free up my mind, I have felt a little lighter and the days seem a little brighter.

It's Still Abeegail. ✨
Trying to wade off bad vibes.